Tag Archives: Dominants

My Contributions, your purpose

February 21, 2016

Note: I choose to publish this entry to assist confused individuals who misunderstand the definition of Dominance and how it IS in real-life.

Whenever you offer something of value, people who contribute nothing and do nothing of their own, will often have the audacity to take offense and even threaten you.

Domina101™ Tip: ALWAYS clarify their value to Your REALITY. In this way, You give them an opportunity to evolve from ignorance — Good Karma for You! What they choose to do with Your Gifts is their karma.

Dear Mistress Didi*,

You’re not having fun parties any more and what’s with all this self-help crap? If You’re not going to get back to business, i’m leaving your mailing list.

‑ mama-told-me-i’m-special (the name I dubbed this creature)

* * * * *

Attention:

I’m in the be-served business; NOT the service industry.

I create Events that please ME. While I know that My generosity and altruism will be unappreciated by those who are lacking any of their own, I have no interest in accommodating the whims of whiners.

Value Reality Check:

1) I’m a REAL Domme. I maintain My Domain My Way on My Terms. Anyone who has anything to do with Me and My Domain are invited GUESTS.

2) I have created, and continue to create, public and private events on a grand scale for guests with refined taste, skill, and integrity — something seriously lacking in the majority of what has become The Scene today.

3) I have conducted, and continue to conduct, numerous classes and workshops in a wide variety of techniques and topics in the realm of My Expertise.

4) Along with My Ask Mss Didi* Offerings, I create various opportunities for personal evolution via Fetish Appreciation with My Domina101™ and Superior submissive™ mentoring programs, contributing to The DommeSalon™, and a plethora of other training opportunities.

5) I wrote My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide, How To Present yourself To A Mistress as a primer for both Dominants and submissives to improve the abysmal lack of manners that contributes to the deterioration of the elegance of The Scene. you need to read it.

I improve The Scene with My Contributions that many have benefited, and continue to benefit from.

And who are you, really?

1) you have offered nothing to or for Me and/or Mine.

2) you have not donated to any of My Charitable Works.

3) you have not attended any of My Events, though I was gracious enough to comp you and a guest since you complained about a lack of finances.

4) you are not pleasant personally nor visually. you make no effort to offer any beauty, talent, and certainly, not charm. So, you are not a consideration in the creation of any of My Events.

5) The only thing you have done in My Reality is ask Me to offer My Expertise — which I graciously gave more than once — for your “community” organization for NO compensation, collaboration, nor support of anything that I’ve done or do. you have, however, served to prove this truth:

Do not cast your pearls before swine, lest they be trampled under foot.
— Matthew 7:6, KJV

I wasn’t aware that you were on My Mailing List. So, in truth, you removing yourself from it will have the same use for Me as you have always had in My Domain — none whatsoever.

you may take solace in the fact that NONE of what I do is for or about you or anyone else who offers NOTHING, and whines about what I DO.

For further clarification on the situation, read Why you Don’t & Won’t Have What you Want.

Always MY Pleasure & The Best,

Mss Didi*

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

How to Deal with Piggy Dom/mes

A Domina101™ Tip

December 27, 2014

This post is in response to a few conversations regarding an incident where a Dominant made a few enemies due to her lack of courtesy. Let this be a guideline for You when You’re “Domme-tripping,” and for how to deal with head-trippers.

Never expect anything from a pig except a grunt.
~ #quote My Fabulous Grandmother

You know that thing: the oh-so-Dommey-Dom/me who condescends to You right off the bat? Even knowing that You’re a Domme? Not that condescending without a good reason is ever ok…

My recent experience of that thing while celebrating the Holiday Spirit: I asked a few Dommes I’ve been aware of if they would like for Me to mention them and their works in My Holiday Newsletter. One lovely, Domina said thanks and didn’t give Me drama-not-on-Broadway where drama belongs. The other one is the perfect representation of what I’m writing here and I’ve made her useful for a Domina101™ training. Now:

1) I am a very gregarious person and a strong supporter of Women Supporting Women;

2) I am in NO way desperate for content for My Newsletter or for anything that I do; and

3) I am not asking for anything from YOU other than exactly how you would like Me to present your work in My Newsletter, which is more for-and-about-you than it is for Me. If one chooses to look at the situation as someone doing something for someone else (which I don’t), I’m doing YOU the favor of free promotion – not the other way around. I am generously sharing My resources with You.

We all know that technology today makes it possible to research the person you’re dealing with before you make a complete turd of yourself. And yet, it is My experience on a regular basis that all these silly creatures do is look at My photos and immediately make up ignorant- fantasies about Me that are extremely limited… The really gruesome just look to pick out specific words in something you and I post online about OUR experiences to play the make-wrong game. And those who believe that they are as ugly as they are, are outright rude in person – as if somehow, everyone observing will not peg their behavior as jealousy. Pity these people; there is something seriously lacking in the quality of their existence that makes them hostile and combative. Pity them, but definitely put them in their places – beneath You.

While I do pity them, I find it helpful to understand the motivations for their rudeness to prevent Me from wanting to completely eviscerate them. I am a Responsible Sadist whose motto is:

Don’t start none, won’t be none – I finish it.

How To Handle The Piggy Dom/me

1) Recognize that s/he is intimidated by You and needs to convince herself of her false-sense of superiority. People who suffer from inferiority complexes often believe that if they can force their idea of dominance onto you, that they will prove to the world that they are superior to everything and everyone else.

2) Whatever You do, do not become hostile. That’s exactly what they want You to do! They can only feel alive through negative experiences because that is the punishment of people who focus on lower-level activities and expression. These are the people, after all, who usually don’t exercise, eat well, or read, and who rush to watch judgment-TV with bowls of junk food-stuff on a daily basis. That is the recipe for toxicity and they are toxic in mind, body, and spirit. So, they most certainly can’t feel good about themselves and they want to disrupt the flow of everyone who not only lives well and feels good, but certainly those who look good! These are also the people who are quick to call YOU conceited for having a sense of style – which, in My Opinion, is Our Duty To Society.

3) Dismiss them. As always, You have the choice in how You wish to respond. I usually treat them with pleasantries and respect right up until the moment they serve their purpose for Me dealing with them in the first place. Then, I immediately change My tone of communication to a clearly-dismissive one. This lets them know that they are no longer of importance and shakes up their comfort zone. The best part is that I always “plant a seed of torture” – Domina101™ participants know what I mean! Ahhh, delicious!

A favorite story recanted among My Associates is of a male dominant who had the audacity to think he could bark orders to Us at an event. You know the type: the guy who thinks that every woman – especially Dommes – really want to sub to him. It was immediately clear to Me that this person would never be someone or something enjoyable or of value to Me or Mine. So, I chose to “nip it in the bud,” as the expression goes. I stood in front of him, pointed My finger at him, laughed genuinely, turned to My submissive and walked away, laughing. For the rest of the event, I specifically let him see Me enjoying Myself with worthy humans and not once did My eyes glance in his direction. I made him disappear. As usual, the gruesome grapevine passed along his attempts to defame Me, but witnesses addressed his rudeness before I ever got wind of their remarks – not that I care about gruesomes have to say anyway. They only serve to add salt to the wounds of My sprouting seeds of torture.

4) Most importantly, let it be known that You don’t care about them. They have served your purpose and are unworthy of further attention. People who do not care for themselves want you – anyone – to care about them. Because they know that they are bereft of redeeming qualities, the only tool they have to be noticed is gruesome behavior. And that’s where pity can be a most useful tool for You.

As a Responsible Sadist, I find comfort in leading them by the nose into seeing just how ridiculous they are. Because I am a firm believer in Karma, I always find ways to give a reality slap that permits offenders the opportunity for personal growth – which is good for My Karma, which is always My primary motivation. What they choose to do with My Gift is their karma.

Always MY Pleasure & The Best,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

The “Attention Game” Fiasco

UPDATE: As I predicted to My Domina101™ Divas, 1 day after I graciously responded, this idiot not only emailed Me again with unnecessary length to vampire My time and attention, he did not bother to read anything I offered to him. AND had the audacity to use profanity to “express” himself.

ATTENTION submissives and all others: I offer My Wisdom as a courtesy; it is NOT your right and We are NOT “friends” — if We were, you would know that ALL of My Friends treat Me with the utmost respect, as I treat them. Respect is to be offered at ALL times, and especially when you want something from Me and have offered Me nothing.

*****

Good afternoon, Mistress Didi,

I am in relationship with my Mistress, and approximately 4 weeks ago, she told me her true feelings for me, there is nothing I won’t do for her, the only exception being, she introduced her male Dom friend into the mix about 6 weeks ago. Now in the last week, while my Mistress was away, he has messed with my head, and he now believes I’m owned by her and him, he wants me to be his … little daddy’s girl…. This came about when I spoke to him regarding my Mistress, as I’d not been able to get in contact with her for 10 days, then over 4 days of conversations with him, he has told me, “your Mistress doesn’t want a [relationship with you]… those things he has said to me that have freaked me out…

I accept my Mistress’ authority, and will do anything she asks of me, personally I believe this will change the relationship we have built over the last seven months, and as my Mistress has told me, she doesn’t have limits and expects me not to have any either, I fear I will lose her when I try and discuss it with her. My circumstances are… {way too much info provided not relevant to the issue — suspected fishing attempt}

Respectfully, j.

Way too much info given to get to the point of what I presume your question actually is:

Q: What to do about this dom trying to take over?

ANSWER:

Begins with:

Why were you in communication with him while your Mistress was away and WHY did you not discuss this situation/your discomfort with Her immediately and before contacting Me? ( I gather from your email that this communication with the dom occurred while She has been out of communication with you, but I’m not feeling total honesty here.)

Ends with My answer that will be posted on AskMistressDidi. I choose to answer you for My purposes to better assist others who are caught up in this same, “lacking mindset”:

your intention is to gain attention.

The “attention game” is ALWAYS useless. It is completely and only about manipulation of everyone and everything who has glanced in your direction.

you will ONLY:

1) destroy any and everything that is good in your life by disrespecting and disappointing their trust graciously given to you;

2) do everything possible to create a chaotic mess because:

(i) you are addicted to chaos for some sad, form of self-validation; and

(ii) your end-game is to play the victim.

This is a “lacking mindset” because you do not offer anything to grow your relationship with your Mistress; you maintain the environment of neediness, helplessness, uselessness. your purpose is to enhance your Dominant’s life and you can only do this by choosing to take intelligent and respectful action with the goal of creating and being your best.

Now, while I give everyone the opportunity to recognize that We are conditioned from birth to operate from an unconscious agenda, imposed upon Us by Our upbringing, social structures, religious-stuff, etc., I ONLY support you in evolving towards being the best person you can be: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I support your integrity, and that is all.

you had the choice to tell this usurper-dom that you do not feel comfortable communicating with him until your Mistress returns and gives both of you Her permission. That always solves the problem when you are uncertain of your Dominant’s rules. Any Dominant who would have a problem with you taking this action when She has not specifically trained you to do as She desires is lacking as a Dominant – and you should consider any further steps in your relationship with this person. Any other person, Dominant or other, should respect the position you take to respect your Dominant first and foremost – which is the point of being in service to a Dominant.

I give you this: at ALL times, communicate with your Dominant to ensure that your actions are in accordance with your promise and commitment to serve Her/Him. Secrets ONLY create painful problems that your Karma WILL punish you for – worse than what you believe your Mistress’ punishment could ever actually be.

I strongly advise you to participate in My Superior submissive Webcam Workshop (new dates to be announced very soon) that offers concrete training to ensure that much of the confusion that occurs in the D/s dynamic can be eliminated and your commitment to your submission can be excellent.

To assist you with basic, Fetish Etiquette, I also advise you to download and read My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide, How To Present yourself To A Mistress.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Note: I choose to publish this entry to assist confused individuals who misunderstand the definition of Dominance and how it IS in real-life.

I’m in the be-served business; NOT the service industry.

Value Reality Check:

And who are you, really?

you may take solace in the fact that NONE of what I do is for or about you or anyone else who offers NOTHING, and whines about what I DO.

Related articles:

A Domina101™ Tip

Never expect anything from a pig except a grunt. ~ #quote My Fabulous Grandmother

Don’t start none, won’t be none – I finish it.

How To Handle The Piggy Dom/me

Related articles:

*****

Related articles:

Never expect anything from a pig except a grunt.
~ #quote My Fabulous Grandmother