UPDATED
Dear Mistress Didi*,
You were unfair to dismiss me… i tried my best to serve You… You didn’t give me a chance… [Other whining without acknowledging responsibility omitted.]
‑ “pitty-me” sub
I encourage people, especially Dominants, to pass this on to subs, “wanna-subs,” and others who dare to attempt to guilt You into tolerating their abominable behaviors.
PAY ATTENTION:
I am consistent for a reason: to maintain the excellence of My Domain on My terms and to thwart whining attempts to top from the bottom and other idiot behaviors by manipulative creatures. The Rules of My Domain are provided to EVERYONE, listed on My websites, and even listed on The DommeSalon™ site so that there are NO valid reasons nor opportunities for irresponsible, whiny, outrage that you do not have what you want — and you never will — not from Me or anyone of value.
I am unique. I take the time to be as clear as possible by writing My requirements and making them available to EVERY person who desires to be a part of My Domain and I also make My Rules publicly available. VERY few Dominants do this – why they don’t baffles Me when the practice cuts down on the fakers, shakers, and annoyance makers. The process I use for My Rules is consistent with how I run My Domain and My businesses. I seldom, if ever, deviate from this process because it is the deal-breaker when people want to “work their idiocy.”
When your intention is to use a situation to accommodate who you think you are without respect for the situation, you deny the opportunity for growth of any kind and you will always end up being deficient from the same pattern of behavior as demonstrated by your failure in My Domain:
1) you psyche yourself into believing you are worthy of a situation that thrills you – that you do NOT have in your life, but which you DO want. Many people see a BDSM movie and, just because they think they are amused by identifyng with a Dominant or get a stirring in their loins from thoughts of being a submissive, they believe that they ARE already this fantasy as a reality. Foolishly, because you know that you’re full of XXXX, you want to believe that I am – though I repeat Myself when I tell everyone that this world and way of being is My REALITY AND MY LIFESTYLE.
I often encounter this scenario with newbie Dominants who, after seeking My counsel and tutelage, get carried away and think they can tell ME how to be a Domme… What’s worse are the ones who forget their manners and dare to think they can dick-tate the terms of Our relationship to Me (see Confusing Dominance For Bullying).
2) you RECEIVE AND AGREE to My Rules, which I email to you prior to permitting you to connect with Me for service and you say anything to get moving on your scheme of crazy thinking that I will acquiesce to the ridiculous standards that you are accustomed to with the silly females (and males) in your life.
What always amazes Me is how any of you can think that you are so “special” that I will suddenly NOT maintain the Domain I’ve built and have sustained for the greater part of My life because you popped up wanting the same thing I’ve heard for many years and continue to hear day in and day out. None of you are ever original; same stupidity, different moron.
REMEMBER: you want What I Have and Who I Am because on your deepest level, you know that the value given to you by the silly females/males in your realm is FALSE. you need Me and Mine to desperately try to convince yourself otherwise. you should be grateful to these silly people and treat them better. Their delusional love for and about you may be all you have to get you through your life. While less than what you want and deserve, at least, be worthy of them.
3) you LIE and attempt to cheat by not honoring your agreement/following instructions and try to shirk your responsibility in all aspects of the scenario. Worse, you dare to pull a “brat attack.” I do not see how anyone with an iota of intelligence can think that I will be guilty for NOT accepting your choice to be inferior.
4) Soon, you realize that you’ve dug your own grave because, again, I HAVE WHAT you WANT, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I graciously gave you the chance to step up and show up to be worthy of what you want and you failed. That recognition of your reality is going to eat at you for an eternity. Why? Because:
- you maintain delusions of believing you are greater than you will ever be because you do NO work to be better;
- you will always be inferior because you are lazy and ludicrous; and
- you refuse to accept personal responsibility for your failings and, therefore, will fail in your goals by either doing a half-azzed job which will result in ineptitude or by not realizing them at all. you will remain a loser.
5) When you fail in your pathetic tirade to Me, you run to any and every loser who will gobble your maligning tales against Me like the toxic, gluttons they are. you will then foolishly believe that you found your niche and a “community” where you can live out your fantasies. The only thing you will find are others who mirror your inadequacies. your reputation will become known by Quality Fetishists and humans, who will shun you. The more you associate with slime, the faster your lack of value will be noticeable by those who actually have what you desire.
Think of it this way: puss starts small and expands –> gangrene –> amputation –> discard of the useless appendage –> beauty marred and functionality impaired –> life sux more and is harder.
IMPORTANT NOTE: This analogy is meant to connect a personality defect to the physical level for better conceptual comprehension. If you are a soldier who lost a limb(s) honorably, NO ONE OF VALUE will consider you less beautiful and definitely not less functional because soldiers are miraculous people who CAN do anything. Remove your greatness from anyone who does not appreciate you. This is why it is so important for Us to SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, VOTE FOR Veteran Benefits, and pay attention to who/which pundits do not (always the same creatures who want to send everyone else’s children to war).
While there are a lot like you, there is only one Me. you will quickly be replaced by those who are always waiting in line to serve Me and those who follow The Rules are always granted sanctuary in My Domain. Those who enact the mediocre behaviors that define you will join you in the world of sleaze, greed, and irresponsible dangers parading as fetishists in the world today.
Summary
- you are delusional in your views of yourself and when given the opportunity to indulge in what someone else created that you want, you refuse to do any work to be worthy of it;
- you lack respect for what you want and those who have created it and you lie, cheat, and attempt to defame when you fail; and
- you refuse to accept personal responsibility for your failings and you will remain a pathetic loser.
AGAIN, I advise you to download and read My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide, How To Present yourself To A Mistress.
Always MY Pleasure & The Best,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com
www.Blackthornz.com
*****
If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…
I’m a Domme, not your mom.
More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom
Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.
The Secret to any and every relationship ending – whether it’s a love relationship, a job, an attachment to a favorite sweater – is your perspective.
Whenever We have a crappy break-up, We feel torn down. Due to Our “conditioning” (social, religious, political, etc.), We go into “suffer mode.” This is a tool of 
1. Be AWARE of your thoughts. Awareness is the key to change and to success. Notice where you feel tension in your body when you think such thoughts. Pay attention to (1) what triggered those thoughts, (2) your train of thoughts, and (3) the responses in your body. The more you are aware of the dynamics of your process, the more you will be able to identify what triggers your feelings, habits, actions, etc. Becoming aware of your mind-body connection is the most important aspect in identifying and enhancing your ability for self-control. No matter what the circumstances are, being aware of what holds you prisoner to misery will shift you from stagnation and going nowhere to opportunities to create “better” in your life.
2. Stop playing “the blame game.” Placing blame on others or yourself only creates stagnation and further decline into unhappiness because you place judgment on the situation. Reality is subjective.
So, while you’re feeling abused, experiencing guilt, berating yourself, detesting someone, it does not serve you to dwell on WHY things happened. WHY is a useless question that supports the blame game and no matter how much you contemplate the WHYs of a situation, it will get you nowhere (stagnation). You can never know why someone did something because many times, there’s a good chance that the person doesn’t know why himself due to his own lack of awareness and the fact that people lie to avoid personal responsibility. And, logically, how will knowing WHY change anything? You will still need to do whatever is best for you to learn from the experience and move forward in your life. Insisting on needing to know why is just a trick to convince yourself to avoid your own, personal responsibility to let go of your attachment to coulda-woulda-shoulda. You have the opportunity to be greater than you have ever been before by stepping up your personal responsibility instead of falling down into despair.
4. Create a new trigger to conjure empowering thoughts to take empowering action. The point of creating new triggers is to take control of your automatic response system via your awareness and conscious choice. There is a wonderful NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) technique called “anchoring” that creates a “resourceful state” by conditioning a physical action to achieve the desired state. In other words, when you become aware of defeating thoughts and actions, you can immediately change your state: how you feel, think, behave, etc. Anchoring is, literally, cultivating the ability to snap out of it and be proactive!
Are you experiencing resistance to what I’ve presented above? Take this opportunity to practice awareness and notice your thoughts and what you’re feeling in your body. Is your chest tight? jaw clamped? face pinched up? breathing shallow? throat locked? Just observe without judging yourself. Now, breathe into the restriction in your body and exhale with a relaxing and releasing sigh. OWN that release and anchor it.
The choice is yours. I always ask Myself: what do I want to say about My Life at the end of My Life? I want to say, “That was fantastic!” And I always ask Myself – especially when crappy situations occur – what do I want to feel about My Life right now? I want to feel, “What an adventure of Being Better than I’ve ever been before!” A Fantastic Life is created in the process of the journey. You cannot have a journey if you remain stuck in one place, thought, etc.
