Domme for Dollars

October 29, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I am a new slave and new to the scene.  What should I expect from a Mistress?  Some bring up money.  Is that what it’s about?  ~ new and confused


Dear new and confused,

I understand that you’re new.  It is a personal peeve of Mine for “newbies” (or anyone) to determine themselves “slaves” or “Dommes” without the first clue as to what that IS or involves.  If you were truly a “slave” in service to a REAL Mistress, you would be properly trained and not asking this question.  Period.

In My public service article, Domme v. dumme, I specify the differences between REAL Dominants and “hoochies with whips,” who are usually silly-young-girls being manipulated by some guy who calls his pseudo-brothel a “dungeon.”  There is as much a difference between a tribute and a fee as there is a difference between a true professional and an actor who plays one on TV.

A REAL Mistress has invested the time, education, and dedication to Fetish As Art with the intention and understanding that BDSM IS an integral part of Her Life, not solely a source of income.  To serve a REAL Mistress requires dedication and a measure of worth on your part.  Tribute is an offering of appreciation to the Domina for Her time, consideration, and attention regarding you.  A REAL tribute may or may not be monetary and if you are in service to a REAL Dominant, you will not be required to pay a “requisite amount” each and every time you visit.  Be sure to read submissive v. substandard to understand the dynamic involved with being in service to a Dominant.

More information on the Lifestyle and safety practices can be found HERE.  I encourage you to do the research to give yourself the opportunity to experience the best that Fetish has to offer.  Because the adage, “you get what you pay for” does not purely have monetary application; skill and authenticity are paramount for happiness in all areas of life.  And that’s what it’s all about.
Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*


If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

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