June 13, 2010

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I broke off a 3 month attempt at a relationship with a man who is a favorite of the females in [The Scene] to bat their eyelashes at.  If they knew what I know now, they would look the other way!  What annoys me is that we barely stopped seeing each other when a few of these heifers actually contacted me to ask if “everything was OK!”  These people barely speak to me at any other time!  I want to slap each one of them in their faces many times!  I don’t know how to get over being so insulted and angry at how they dare to be so nosy!!!!! Any advice?   Thanks, Miss T.


Well,  Miss T.,

You’re in luck!  I recently ended a relationship with someone in The Scene (sort of), too and the gossips tried to circle around Me like vultures!  Here is part of a post to My blog on this very issue and you will also find value in How To Deal With Relationship Gossip:


I tell people what I want them to know.  Period.  The only reason I’m bothering to comment on the scavenging is to eliminate the opportunity for the usual-jealous-ugly-creatures to besmirch the person who is no longer a part of My life – though, the bumpkins will gossip lies anyway because that is all they have.  This behavior is typical of people with a low sense of self-worth with good reason.

My Mother is a lady, as are/were ALL of the Women in My Family on all sides for as many generations as I can count.  I grew up with and continue to be surrounded by a lot of love.  Perhaps, this (also known as “good breeding” and “good home training”) is why I have no sense of jealousy for any other person and the ability to genuinely be happy for and wish other people well.  I do not revel in the pains of others, not even those I intensely dislike due to their offenses against Me.  Such behavior subtracts from your own worth and attracts negativity to you.  I am enough in Myself that I do not need to waste energy “dissing” others when I could put that energy into doing more things to honor and love Myself.

I am disgusted by people who do not love or value themselves.  I call these creatures “gruesomes” because they are not only ugly on the inside, they are inevitably ugly on the outside.  Instead of seeking to improve the conditions of their lives, they seek to belittle everyone and everything in order to feel comfortable in their gruesomeness.  They create communities of others like them to wallow in the muck and mire of the pathetic excuses for lives they choose to create while seeking out those of Us who truly are fabulous to lie, cheat, and attempt to sling into the feculence of their miserable realities.

A True Lady does not discuss the details of Her love affairs or such matters that are usually put into that category.  If She has cause to mention the departed lover, She refrains from any displays of negativity – especially in public and particularly around gruesomes.

I will NEVER speak ill of anyone I have had any sort of relationship (or attempts at relationships) with because I have too much self-respect to have the need to besmirch another person.  This is evident in the way I have never spoken ill of the silly dummes who have attempted to gain attention for themselves by telling lies on Me – and they’re still telling those same, old, tired, lies that have been exposed!  People with a sense of low-self-worth do not ever realize that a person’s truths are evident based on their merits, which is why like attracts like and the fabulous associate with the fabulous and the gruesomes hang with the gruesomes.  Take a good look around you.

I am evolved enough as a human being to understand that every person is unique to your experience and that when people don’t click, you should move on.  I accept responsibility for My actions, which include choosing to stay in/leave situations with the goal of My happiness.  Because I not only value Myself, I honor My integrity and I choose to remember the positive qualities that I found attractive in people who are now in My Past.  I encourage everyone to do the same to reject negative feelings that do not serve you.  If you love yourself, you do not need to have contempt for anyone you attempted to love.

When all the gossip buzzes around you like flies to manure, take a good look at the perpetrators, and see just how gruesome they are.  There’s value to the adage: Consider the source.  Sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*


If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

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