Consider The Source

October 1, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

You witnessed an incident that should not have happened.  [name omitted] offended me and I didn’t do anything to cause him to be so rude.  I still think I did the right thing to roll my eyes and walk away, but the whole thing bothers me.  What is the best way for me to handle this?  Thanks, G 


Dear G,

My fabulous Grandmother always said: “Consider the source” whenever someone did something that disrupted My flow.  That was some of the best advice that She ever gave Me ~ and She gave Me so much great advice!

How To Use This Great Advice:

1)  Check In first to see what’s going on with you that is causing you to be disturbed by someone’s actions;

2)  Choose what you want to do.  In other words, choose to respond rather than react.  Give yourself the power in the situation and choose your greatest well-being;

  • Clearly recognize the “quality of being” that the person who has annoyed you is putting forth.  Translation: how is this person showing up? as a cool individual who may have made a mistake? as a complete jerk?; and
  • Most importantly, forgive them.  Whether or not a person intends to disrupt your peaceful flow, it is YOUR responsibility that your flow is disrupted. Forgiving them frees YOU from any further care for or about them.

As We all know, there are too many lazy individuals who take the slimy way out and operate from the lowest levels of consciousness and personal responsibility.  It is easier for you, in your best interests, to pity them for making self-defeating choices; there can never be true happiness when you choose to be less than your best.

If the saying: There is only fear or love is true, then these offenders are seriously lacking love in their lives – not only love from others, but self-love.  That makes them pathetic and having compassion for them also frees you from further concern and bother because you can choose what you want to do from a place of clarity.

So, if you consider the source of the aggravation, you do yourself a great service by releasing all attachment to that aggravation.  I find that allowing Myself to have pity on, but not to tolerate or excuse offenders, keeps Me able to maintain My Fabulous Flow.  Yes, this requires a bit of discipline, but that is the entire point of Mastery ~ which always begins and ends with Mastery of The Self.

Honing your skill to recognize behavior that stems from a lack of self-love and awareness will strengthen your ability to Consider The Source.  I offer Domme vs. dumme and submissive vs. substandard.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*


If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

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