Beautiful Fetish, Excellence & Ego

©Mss Didi* ~

April 10, 2015

I’m often accused of lying, being egotistical, having ulterior motives, and everything else that people who do nothing whine in attempts to belittle those of Us who create. I realize that the “do-nothings” desire to destroy the value and control the creations of the talented and worthy by attacking Our characters. And if that doesn’t work, some wicked, creeple even try to attack Our creations.  Ayn Rand was right about what to do with these people in ATLAS SHRUGGED (through the tedium of the storyline)… What I’ve written below is presented in the form of the proverbial, “you” and while not directed at one specific person, it applies to far too many.

The truth is that whenever you are intimidated by people’s accomplishments, you are showing your lack of faith in your own ability and worth. Shouting about My Ego and accusing Me of bragging does not mask your inferiority complex.

It’s not bragging if it’s true. ~ Mohammed Ali

If you don’t experience or create anything beautiful in your fetish pursuits, you refuse to believe that others have Beautiful Fetish.

Beautiful Fetish is not about the “tip of the drip” motivation; it’s about the total, sensory and sensual experience that transcends mere physical awareness. Beautiful Fetish is a connection of mind, body and spirit through skill and artistic technique. When you are purely motivated by an orgasm, you limit not only your focus, but your entire opportunity for something better than “bustin’ a nut” and you seldom experience the brilliance of after care. You get what you give.

In My reality, Play is between as many consenting people who agree to participate and is not limited only to something sexy – which makes it more about kink and less about Art and Excellence.

When there is Excellence, 2 things occur:

  • those who recognize and appreciate their own Excellence are inspired and experience ecstasy; and/or
  • those who recognize that they have not developed their own Excellence experience jealousy. This type of lizard-brain thinking always points fingers at the Excellent with the intention of making them wrong for BEING Excellent, so the accuser can attempt to avoid taking responsibility for where he falls short, fails in his own life, and his feelings of inadequacy.

Ego has 2 sides which are a mask and a mirror:

  • Ego, as experienced by lizard-brain thinking, is used to mask one’s insecurities. It is the statement: i am not worthy so neither is anyone else; and
  • Ego as a mirror, experienced by those who strive for and resonate with Excellence, reflects talent, skill, and dedication to One’s Art. It is the statement: I choose to live, experience, and be My Best!

Also in My Reality, people confuse being a bottom for being submissive and look only for sex-focused Play. Many also confuse their realities for the only reality that exists in the D/s world and cannot relate to experiences and realms that are more “dynamic” than theirs – they think We’re lying because they’re lying.

I give FREE, how-to examples on My Websites of a few of My PleasurePain™ Techniques that I’ve developed through My studies, practice, and degrees in a variety of Arts & Sciences. With the exception of requiring your email (anti-spam measure) to download My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide, all of My other resources on My Websites are FREE, too. See My Bio.

I offer Excellence for FREE because I want more people to experience Fetish as Therapeutic Art the way that I and the people who enjoy My Domain in person do. In this way, I contribute to dispelling 50 Shades of Foolishness with Excellence.

One of My Fetishes is Gift Giving, which often affords My Pearls to be cast before swine. As Antonio Porchia said:

I know what I have given you; I do not know what you received.

When you know the quality of your Fetish and offer it to those who can appreciate it, that’s Excellence, not ego, arrogance or anything other than recognizing and appreciating your worth and contribution to BetterFetish™. The cultivation of quality deserves quality, and quality’s light cannot be dimmed by h8ters.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*


If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.