Tag Archives: workshops

Dealing With Disappointing People

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November 11, 2014

Note: I receive numerous correspondence (yes, grammartically correct) about people who betray Our Trust and Friendship – especially since a person who considered herself a professional Domme and “My” best friend outted My submissive in a public venue (causing him child custody problems) and continues a claim-to-fame by using My name… yawn.  Glad I don’t have her Karma ahead!  This entry is advice that helps to put your perspective where it belongs: On Your Greatness.


I’d like to offer these Gems that I’ve learned the hard way (but that’s what makes them Diamonds – to use a metaphor!):

Someone wrote to Me:

I realize that I have been making myself wrong for feeling “ugly” towards certain people. I take on the responsibility for things that happen even when I am not the reason things happened the way they did…  I am not powerful enough to be the cause of everything that happens between me and others in my life.

Actually, We ARE that powerful, but not in the sense of perceiving cause-and-effect in such black-and-white terms.  I’ve learned that Free Will is also not so simple and that most people make choices based on FEAR (False Experiences Appearing Real) and FEAR lives strongest in the subconscious mind.

The thing about the subconscious mind is that We must practice Awareness in order to be free of FEAR and evolve to Being Better.  This is an extremely scary, and often, difficult thing to do which is why most people spend time finding fault to blame others rather than looking at what motivates their actions to do so.

In this age of information overload, the impulse to be distracted seduces the “lesser mind” – hence the inundation of UGLY amusements – e.g., the fake “reality TV” shows where the most banal behaviors are “entertainment.”  And people wonder why their children are so abominably behaved when the constant input into their own and their children’s conscious and subconscious brains is nothing but degrading negativity.

We cannot escape it; We can only strengthen Our SELVES to DEFLECT it.

Now, here’s where those of Us who practice Awareness get tripped up: We judge Our valid feelings.

We have the right to feel hurt, betrayed, etc. when people disappoint Us.  But here’s the thing:

  • We are not wrong for trusting someone at their word; they FAILED to live up to it.  Your word is ALL You have, You are.  Your Word is Your Power – every religious and wisdom doctrine and philosophy says so.  For example,

John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

 —  Please note that I am not a Bible-thumper; I use whatever wisdom is available to help Us connect on Our Highest Levels.  I believe that this is the whole point of having all of these wisdom sources available to Us.

  • When people disappoint Us, they are giving Us GIFTS to:

~ see their true worth and to re-categorize their value in Our lives from this point forward.  My Mantra:  I love you for who you were in My Life and I release you for who you choose to be.

~ see the opportunities for Our growth and the variety of choices We HAVE to commit and re-commit to BEing Our Best

~ practice DETACHMENT, which is not ,”NOT caring” – it’s caring more for Yourself to maintain Your Wellness.  Forgiveness is the Key – and forgiveness is not forgetting or saying that it’s OK that they were poopheads.  Forgiveness is FOR You to be free of torturing Yourself for their failures.  Forgiveness is also so that You don’t get wrinkles and frown lines!

  • The situation itself IS WHAT IT IS.  EVERYTHING else is Our judgment of it.  I know, that tight grip right in the heart-solar-plexus area kicks in.  But right there is the best indication that LETTING GO is required.  We have to LET GO of Our woulda-coulda-shoulda habits and expand Our Awareness for what We can do and BE Better.
  • We also have to be kinder to Ourselves and permit Ourselves to have the full spectrum of the human experience on this Earth plane at this time.  We can only do that by releasing preconceived notions of what a situation  should be (ego) – including Our feelings – and allow Ourselves to respond from conscious choice rather than to react from FEAR (False Experiences Appearing Real = expectation).

This is why meditation is NECESSARY to BE Our Bests.  We need to fortify Our SELVES in order to deflect the ridiculousness and stay focused on Our Truth.  I like to envision wearing a suit of glorious armor made of mirrors when dealing with knuckleheads.  I let their negative energy be reflected back to them to see their true selves and be inspired to evolve.

Also, by considering offensive behaviors and people as giving Me gifts makes them useful – which is always easier to deal with them accordingly.

So, We ARE that powerful and the power is to recognize that their failure is NOT Our doing: It could not have been any other way than the way it was.

Our power comes from consciously choosing Our next steps from a place of Self-Love, which does not preclude love for those who have offended Us.  We can choose HOW to love them – which, in My case, usually means cutting them out of My life completely so that no one ends up dead or in jail! Ha!

Karma is a fabulous thing: people cannot escape their Truth, no matter how hard they try.  They just delay the inevitable.  And when they must face their Truth, they always come back...  And that’s the best part because I’m a Sadist Who, while I forgave them a long time ago, I don’t let them have the comfort that they came to Me to feel forgiven for their offenses against Me.  Their guilt is their problem and their Karma.  MUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*



If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.