Flip-Flopping Attempts to Top

December 31, 2010

Dear Mistress Didi*,

I recently followed a conversation You had on Twitter with a loser who tried to bait You into an argument. I enjoyed that You did not take the bait and turned the whole situation around on him! You even told him that he failed the last time he tried to argue with You!  This was not the first time that I have seen You handle negative people.  There always seems to be someone who tries to offend You and You don’t let them and put them in their place.  How do You do it?

~ Wowed & Wondering

Dear Wowed & Wondering,

I always find it tedious that the same cycle of “mediocrity of personality” spawns from generation to generation and the perpetrators NEVER evolve.  I cannot understand why or how people choose to remain “limited” as individuals, offering no compliment to society at large, and have no impetus to evolve into something – someone better.

No matter how many times, how many ways these “sad ones” try to put others down in a vain attempt to pretend that they are somehow raising themselves up, they will not EVER have any real achievement.  It is only in their small minds that such distasteful efforts could possibly make them “superior” to the person they attempted to “top” in a disrespectful way.  This ridiculous notion has no basis in any kind of reality and the sad ones are always left empty and wanting in their lives.

The truth is that such behavior is instigated by their sense of inferiority, spurred by jealousy of a person who is comfortable in Her or His own being, like I am.  Instead of being inspired, the sad ones face their truthful fears that they are not “good enough” and become agitated by what they see lacking in themselves effortlessly emanating from Me.

The first thing such an autophobic (autophobia: an extreme dislike of oneself, or being angry at oneself) person does is deny their true feelings and choose to find fault with you in order to avoid any responsibility for recognizing that they can only ever walk in the shadows of where you shine.  So, they attempt to “rain on your parade,” to dim your Light.  This pathetic cycle leads to continued unhappiness via self-delusion and the ultimate in being unfulfilled.

Boringly, I get a lot of these sad ones trying with desperation to use Me for their follies.  Instead of being grateful for all of the many gifts I give to The Community, they seek to find fault with Me and My works – of course, having nothing of value of their own to offer anywhere.  I always make these sad ones useful by (1) setting them up to be examples for My Workshops and (2) toying with them for sport – after all, I always say, if you put your ass out there, you want to be spanked!  My Motto: Don’t start none, won’t be none; I finish it.

What the sad ones do not understand is their attempts to goad Me into their games can only work on someone who is not comfortable with Herself; who does not love, honor, and respect Herself; and who questions her REALITY.  This most certainly is not Me.  I also have no emotional attachment to what they say or try to do while attempting to have their fantasies be My Reality.  I pity them, but recognize how they can be of service to The Whole and take advantage of the only gifts they have to give ~ allowing them to be of service, which is the Highest Good.

My actions give them the opportunity to learn and grow.  Whether they take that opportunity or not is all about their choices.  If I am feeling particularly generous, I will refer them to self-esteem building techniques.

I am ever the Giving Goddess, even when creatures attempt to offend Me.


If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*.  Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.  As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking.  In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events.  She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.