Tag Archives: control

How To Handle Lizard-Brain Thinking Attacks

December 29, 2012

The following is a Domina101™Lesson that I offered while being attacked by “gruesome” for creating a post in an online forum where they congregate en masse:

lizard

lizard (Photo credit: sodaro,k)

Consider Water. When water is in a container where there is no flow of new water or anything else, the longer it remains in a state of stagnation, it putrefies and becomes distasteful and toxic to the point of deterioration that eventually taints/destroys the container that holds it – think slime.

When water has a consistent flow, it is refreshed with nutrients, life force energy, and “goes new places” to nourish and become part of larger bodies of water in the symbiotic process of Nature.

There are 2 types of people: those who see the “glass as half-empty” and focus on repression (stagnation); seeking everywhere to find fault to be insulted; spending their lives fearing new/unfamiliar concepts and resisting possibilities – especially for change & evolution – because they believe that “they” themselves will be invalidated – usually because they have misplaced “values” that originate from and perpetuate self-loathing -> putrefaction (slime). This “fight” impulse comes from “lizard-brain thinking,” – primitive, survival mode. they have a “poverty consciousness” in mind, emotions and spirit.

Then, there are people who see the “glass as half-full” and focus on abundance and expansion; who choose to be inspired to create and share; who seek knowledge and conversation (vs. argument); who have a healthy sense of self that is not defined by acquisitions or definitions by others; and who are continually on a path of self-improvement in order to expand the Joys of Living. They have a “prosperity consciousness” in mind, emotions, spirit and body.

Water seeks its own level. There’s an expression: There is only fear or love. FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real. Lizard-brain thinking exists in a perpetual state of fear: primarily a fear of inadequacy – not being “good enough” (self-worth based on external influences) vs. accepting and permitting a constant level of personal growth via possibilities. Lizard-brain thinking fosters cowardice because it gives permission to (i) block self-reflection to avoid facing beliefs (real or imagined) in one’s inadequacies and (ii) remain in stagnation which usually leads to a vicious cycle of devolution. Lizard-brain thinking instigates that another person’s actions and intentions come from the lower-level, nefarious intentions of what lizard-brain thinking would do if ever in the same situation – which is seldom ever the case because lizard-brain thinking:

  • does not create, share, communicate, cooperate;
  • is ALWAYS reactive rather than responsive because it perceives everything as a threat;
  • seeks to destroy, hoard, belittle (slime) everything and everyone in order to believe in the illusion of its value in its stagnation;
  • operates from a belief that everyone and everything is trying to scam, steal, defraud, etc. because that is how lizard-brain thinking worships its god of money;
  • takes everything personally, as if all things in the world revolve around and care about its particular existence, and takes offense whether acknowledged or ignored;
  • dictates ignorance-based fantasies onto others’ realities rather than asking questions before jumping to conclusions;
  • ALWAYS seeks ONLY to support its limitations -even to picking words from a sentence and ignoring entire paragraphs to insist on “being right” from a place of ignorance and inexperience (and NEVER uses a dictionary or thesaurus to consider misunderstanding anything);
  • ALWAYS confuses Dominance and any expression of sense-of-self for bullying/being bullied (playing the “victim game”);
  • ALWAYS seeks an enemy (without exercising awareness to realize it is its own worst enemy) in order to feed on negativity. It rarely, if ever, recognizes that the amount of insults and denigration it expresses are a direct reflection of its amount of self-loathing; and
  • operates from a confused model of “power over” which prompts insistence that others are trying to invade/control its zone rather than learning that Self-Control (and the lack thereof) is the only real control there is.

EVERY time I share what I love, I am attacked by lizard-brain thinking. Even when I point out what is written on My Website (where ALL of the info I share is FREE) that the “paid” version of My eBook is to raise funds for My charities (and payment has been disabled for more than a year & the reason for this is also on My Website) ~ as have been the proceeds from the vast majority of events that I’ve produced ~ lizard-brain thinking seeks to play the “make-wrong game” because that’s how it is able to conjure a sense of value in its stagnant limitations.

My choice for living My Life is to believe that “My Cup runneth over” and I choose to find value from experiences. I choose Flow and make use of lizard-brain thinking attacks because:

  • those who are on My level of consciousness and life choices will actually read what is on the same pages of My website (and My profile) to discover what lizard-brain thinking refuses to acknowledge; and
  • lizard-brain thinking generates and feeds on negativity to maintain its toxic, comfort zone. Misery loves company.

So, the BEST thing that comes from EVERY lizard-brain thinking attack directed towards Me is that they serve for people I care to associate with to connect with Me, and for those I have no interest in to congregate with others in lizard-brain thinking away from My Domain. It’s a Win-Win – but lizard-brain thinking only perceives a Win if it creates a belief with all its might that someone loses. Watch what happens now…

Again, Water seeks its own level. I am seldom astonished by how many supportive, private messages I receive from people who don’t want to weather lizard-brain thinking attacks EVERY time I post to share – this time is no exception… in any way. I am not religious but, because I choose to flow in possibility and am responsible for My Own Life Choices, I find value in philosophies from a variety of sources:

Matthew 7:6 – English Standard Version (©2001) “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”

Again, lizard-brain thinking chooses to perceive threats and, therefore, cannot appreciate pearls. I am not trapped in lizard-brain thinking and I have no fear of sharing My experiences with others. I KNOW that I never lose anything by sharing; that sharing is ALWAYS an opportunity to receive love. So, when I see a forum that states its purpose is for sharing and supporting the “community,” I share what I have and appreciate that others share what they have. If I don’t find value in something offered, I accept responsibility for My own thoughts and actions and do not invalidate the fact that someone else may find value from it.

It is My choice to evolve past MY negative reactions that may arise because, in reality, they serve ME to show where I have an opportunity to evolve My consciousness. I love Myself and so I brave this process! I discipline Myself to reject the entrapment of lizard-brain thinking’s cowardice. I honor Personal Responsibility.

Paraphrasing Romans 12:2 – New International Version 1984: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what … good, pleasing and perfect…”

It is an individual’s choice for how he perceives in order to be able to receive anything. One cannot receive with a closed fist or a closed mind. You know the adage, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. The bottom line is “How are YOU enjoying life?” I understand that the fact that I AM living My dream, My way , and inviting cool people to join Me is very scary to lizard-brain thinking’s choice of fear over love. Whether this choice is conscious or unconscious is evident in how you’re living in mind, body, spirit, and in love – or in its lack thereof. I am grateful that I have done and continue to do the work to be soooo much more fortunate than those who choose entrapment in lizard-brain thinking. It is scary, but the rewards are worth it.

One of the best rewards is the ever-increasing strength against “the ugly” that results from behaviors designed to mask self-loathing – which I let roll like water off of a duck’s back because I take pity on the perils of lizard-brain entrapment.

“Compassion brings peace of mind and with it better health; so cherish compassion.” Tweet by His Holiness The Dalai Lama 12/25/12

Here’s to evolution! By the way, what I’ve just shared is another FREE lesson from My Domain that I teach in workshops and via My FREE blogs. Responding to you gave Me the opportunity to present a new blog post for ALL the people on My mailing list and who follow Me via social media – which is MY purpose for MY mailing list! I sincerely thank you for being a part of this sharing! Another Win-Win! Happy & Prosperous Mind-Body-Spirit New Year!

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbookhttps://askmssdidi.com/1/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/readmynewsletter.gif


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.

Video: Seth Godin: Quieting The Lizard Brain

How to By-Pass Your Reptilian Brain and Restore Your Creative Power

©Mss Didi* ~ PartyDomme.com

My Bitchy Times (Why I Gotta Be a BITCH)

Ask Mss Didi*

September  7, 2012

Q: Dear Mistress Didi*,

I truly enjoyed Your  Domina101™ Workshop and am looking forward to taking the next one.  I know You said that this is a process of growth and evolution, but my particular problem is causing me to lose sleep.  [PERSONAL INFO OMITTED].  Don’t You ever just want to punch these bitches?  How do You keep from having to be a bitch?  Please tell me something to help me deal with this situation!!!!  Thank You, Ms. FD

Dear Ms. FD,

Your question comes to Me at the perfect time!  Of course, I have what I call, “My Bitchy Times” and I have them on a regular basis when dealing with all of these pathetic-jealous-zealots out here who have nothing of value to offer to The Whole, so they desperately try to bring those of Us who ARE doing fabulous things down.

As I stated in the Domina101™ Workshops:

  1. Consider The Source of your aggravation
  2. Remember Your Value
  3. Find a use for the offender and its offenses – it truly helps with Forgiveness.  Remember, Forgiveness is first and foremost for yourself.

Below is a perfect example of an offensive situation that has resurfaced because a cowardly-loser dared to use Me and Mine in order to have some kind of value for her fantasy blog. So, since her actions show up in search engine results for MY Work, I MAKE USE OF her.

Do understand that I give Myself permission to have My Bitchy Times and, most importantly, to enjoy them!  I OWN My Karma significantly better than the offenders can recognize theirs.  In other words, as I also present in My Domina101™ Workshops, I do My best to carefully think before I act to ensure that I have no regrets for what I choose to do.  Self-Control is THE only real control.  I choose Who I Am and truly encourage others to spend more time working on themselves instead of attempting to disrupt My Fabulous Flow so that they can love and like themselves the way that I love and like Myself.

Notice My “Mirror” comment below.  The “h8ters” will (in typical, lazy form) jump on the “oh-how-conceited-bandwagon” while those of Us who ARE doing Our jobs to make Our lives (and the lives of others We encounter) joyous and fulfilling will recognize and revel in the Power of what I offer.

You can click here to be alerted of My Next Workshops.

Read all that I’ve provided here and in The Domina101™ Workshop Notes.  You ARE evolving for YOUR best; you ARE handling and creating your reality.  All that you are going through is just a test you give yourself to see if you are truly committed to your happiness.

I completely support you.

And, for the record, I’m not a bitch; I’m a B.I.T.C.H. = Being In Total Control of Herself (see My BITCH entry).  And I don’t care if others – especially those who do NOTHING for Me – think I’m bitchy when I’m taking care of My Domain and MySelf.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Dear Mistress Didi*,

While searching for Your Superior submissive Workshop, i found this blog entry and wanted to make You aware of it.  i hope i have been of service to You, sub g

My Dear sub g,

Thank you so much for pointing out this creature’s use of My fabulousness to draw attention to her pathetic, little blog.  I have addressed her insolence before and – as I predicted – it removed My comments from its blog.

So, since attention for My Work is being drawn to all it lacks, I do the public service of posting the original dialogue below to demonstrate the full effect of how a substandard diminishes the reputation of its “dominant.”

Following that is My most recent post with the bet I made with some of My Domina101™ Divas about what this sad creature will do next.  I will post her response, if any, just to keep a record of My skill-based, amusements in action:

UPDATE 2016: I’ve chosen to remove this example since (i) the death of this pathetic creature makes the world a better place and (ii) so that her soul may reincarnate in an acceptable form.

©Mss Didi* ~ PartyDomme.com

* * *

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbook https://askmssdidi.com/1/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/readmynewsletter.gif


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.  As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking.  In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events.  She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles:

The True Discipline

September 12, 2010

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

Every time i see my former Mistress with Her new sub, I am upset.  i don’t know why, since Mistress and i parted ways very well, i truly want Her to be happy, and i am now collared.  i am afraid to share my feelings with my present Domme because She may need to discipline Me and She is a hard disciplinarian.  What should i do?  Thank You, slave t

******

Self-discipline is the only true discipline. You affect all there is at all times.

What happens on all levels is directly related to your perception and your choices.  Accept responsibility for them.

Think about how this concept looks in your life right now.  This is the key to creating your ideal reality.

Everything begins and ends with your Self.

Having said that, no matter what your Domme may do, the reality of this situation is that you are the one who has to change your behavior.  I believe in different strokes for different folks – literally.  Personally,  I would want My sub to come to Me with all emotional issues so that We can address them together to suit both of Our needs.  So, if you are afraid of your Domme, remember that it is your responsibility for accepting Her collar and you made the choice for this type of a D/s relationship.

So, consider carefully what the lesser of the evils will be!  Take action quickly so that your unresolved issues with your former Mistress do not compromise your happiness with your Domme.

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbookhttps://askmssdidi.com/1/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/readmynewsletter.gif


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.  As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking.  In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events.  She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.