Outing or Protecting?

August 22, 2010 (updated November 13, 2011)

Dear Mistress Didi*,

Why is some guy on [social site] contacting me by direct message, claiming that You threw him out of Your party, and  to stay away from Your events and You?

~ perturbed

Dear perturbed,

As anyone who is familiar with Me should know by now, I have NO tolerance for bad behavior.  This is why I recently ejected a troll from a party and posted You Won’t Like My Events If… 

And I have been VERY generous in how I’ve handled his sad, little creature.  I didn’t have to “out” him; he did it himself with ludicrous attempts to destroy My Domain while unwittingly serving Me better than if I’d commanded him to serve!

If you didn’t know, this creep contacted everyone in his “friends” list on a networking site to warn them that I “threw [him] out for singing and talking to a beautiful woman.”  he continues to stalk Me (See How To Stop A Stalker) by contacting EVERYONE who responds to Me on forum posts with his nonsense (if only he’d put half that effort into becoming a better person).  Since birds of a feather flock together, folks who would believe a story like his are too stupid to attend any of My events in the first place.  So, while I believe that creatures like him are the reason that birth control should be free and sterilization mandatory, I couldn’t pay for better service to My Purpose (not that I would have to)!

The only sad things from this situation are that the 5 people who complained about him at the party had to endure him in the first place and that the “beautiful woman” was a newbie and has told Me that she is now too “creeped out” to attend any fetish events for a while.  This is a perfect example of how a distasteful individual is free to offend Us and discourage others from exploring the Beauties of The Fetish Lifestyle because no one has alerted the Community to his repugnance – and how he even made it into My event at all.  I accept full responsibility for not following My instincts – which I WILL do from now on – to deny him admission when he arrived in full, creepy fashion.  If being disrespectful and “turditudinous” (My new vocabulary word: Definition: (turd-it-TOOD-in-us: Exhibiting personality characteristics of excrement normally expunged from the anus) are his fetish, there are plenty of other events for him and his kind to indulge in.

I will not allow admission to My Events to anyone who does not show the proper respect from the moment they encounter My Domain.  Period.  I love and respect My Guests and will do everything to ensure Our good times!

Lately, I feel I am unique in that money is not My god; nor do I produce events for the sole purpose of making money.  I design events for the enjoyment of communing with like minds and like energies.  When someone offends Me and Mine, I believe it is My duty to alert The Community to prevent others from being disrespected and, perhaps, harmed by the offender.  If more people were responsible to Our Community and to the people who trust Us, and if more people were brave enough to stand up for what’s right against wrong-doers, participating in Our Community would actually be more pleasant instead of a constant flow of dealing with situations where one hopes to avoid having to navigate around “gruesomes.”

I respect The Fetish Lifestyle and I believe in having integrity in The Scene.  Sadly, far too many do not agree with having honorable intentions and participate in lying, thieving, maligning, and attempts to outright sabotage not only Me and Mine, but many others who make contributions to the ability for Us to enjoy Our Lifestyles.  Eventually, the barbarians begin to fight amongst themselves in their quests to build monopolies as they run out of people to screw over.  You see this happen all the time.

One of the many reasons that “certain” people dislike Me (aside from the obvious jealousies and, that under no circumstances, do I permit them to have free reign of My Domain) is that I WILL TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT their HEINOUS OFFENSES – and anyone who has ever encountered them will easily recognize Truth.  I also ensure that I have proof to back up My statements.  My motto is Don’t start none, won’t be none; I finish it.

Over the years, I have received “flack” from people who think that I should keep incidents of bad behavior between Me and the offenders to Myself – probably, because telling others threatens their safety zones for exposure of their own bad behaviors.  Fortunately, I am clear that I will continue to maintain circumstances for the utmost safety in My Domain and protect My guests as a good Hostess should. 

Unfortunately, covert and disreputable habits are what is to be expected as the norm these days (and this is one reason why people are rioting on Wall Street).  To permit atrocities to go unpunished by remaining silent only contributes to more atrocious behavior in the future.  I maintain that, If you’re not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.  Experience has taught Me that exposure (and punishment) of offenders is the best way to maintain the integrity of one’s Domain and protect the people you care about.

So, take My commitment to excellence as an invitation to enjoy the safety of My Events and My Domain with intelligent people who have respect, class, and integrity.  And take this as a warning, if you are a troll in any way.  My responsibility is to enjoying The Best We Can Be and I will  be responsible to Our Community even if others are not.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*



If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

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