Tag Archives: BetterFetish™

Flip-Flopping Attempts to Top

December 31, 2010

Dear Mistress Didi*,

I recently followed a conversation You had on Twitter with a loser who tried to bait You into an argument. I enjoyed that You did not take the bait and turned the whole situation around on him! You even told him that he failed the last time he tried to argue with You!  This was not the first time that I have seen You handle negative people.  There always seems to be someone who tries to offend You and You don’t let them and put them in their place.  How do You do it?

~ Wowed & Wondering

Dear Wowed & Wondering,

I always find it tedious that the same cycle of “mediocrity of personality” spawns from generation to generation and the perpetrators NEVER evolve.  I cannot understand why or how people choose to remain “limited” as individuals, offering no compliment to society at large, and have no impetus to evolve into something – someone better.

No matter how many times, how many ways these “sad ones” try to put others down in a vain attempt to pretend that they are somehow raising themselves up, they will not EVER have any real achievement.  It is only in their small minds that such distasteful efforts could possibly make them “superior” to the person they attempted to “top” in a disrespectful way.  This ridiculous notion has no basis in any kind of reality and the sad ones are always left empty and wanting in their lives.

The truth is that such behavior is instigated by their sense of inferiority, spurred by jealousy of a person who is comfortable in Her or His own being, like I am.  Instead of being inspired, the sad ones face their truthful fears that they are not “good enough” and become agitated by what they see lacking in themselves effortlessly emanating from Me.

The first thing such an autophobic (autophobia: an extreme dislike of oneself, or being angry at oneself) person does is deny their true feelings and choose to find fault with you in order to avoid any responsibility for recognizing that they can only ever walk in the shadows of where you shine.  So, they attempt to “rain on your parade,” to dim your Light.  This pathetic cycle leads to continued unhappiness via self-delusion and the ultimate in being unfulfilled.

Boringly, I get a lot of these sad ones trying with desperation to use Me for their follies.  Instead of being grateful for all of the many gifts I give to The Community, they seek to find fault with Me and My works – of course, having nothing of value of their own to offer anywhere.  I always make these sad ones useful by (1) setting them up to be examples for My Workshops and (2) toying with them for sport – after all, I always say, if you put your ass out there, you want to be spanked!  My Motto: Don’t start none, won’t be none; I finish it.

What the sad ones do not understand is their attempts to goad Me into their games can only work on someone who is not comfortable with Herself; who does not love, honor, and respect Herself; and who questions her REALITY.  This most certainly is not Me.  I also have no emotional attachment to what they say or try to do while attempting to have their fantasies be My Reality.  I pity them, but recognize how they can be of service to The Whole and take advantage of the only gifts they have to give ~ allowing them to be of service, which is the Highest Good.

My actions give them the opportunity to learn and grow.  Whether they take that opportunity or not is all about their choices.  If I am feeling particularly generous, I will refer them to self-esteem building techniques.

I am ever the Giving Goddess, even when creatures attempt to offend Me.

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*.  Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.  As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking.  In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events.  She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

AskMistressDidi.com

Domme in Business

October 29, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

Should a woman who is in the Dominatrix business be domineering in her dealings with other business people or learn flexibility and understand that business associates are equal?  ~ young entrepreneur

 ****

Dear young entrepreneur,

First, not everyone is equal – that goes for all aspects of life, including business.  A lot of folks want to be “politically correct” about this, but hey, deal with it.  Learn to appreciate the talents that others offer.  It is useless to expect a kindergartener to comprehend calculus, much less perform an equation expertly.  So, I suggest that you practice seeing what’s best in a person and/or situation and respect it in order to enjoy a relationship that will yield mutually beneficial results.

Second, Self-Control is the only real control there is.  Every business person needs to know how to discipline Herself to achieve the greatest good, a.k.a., what’s best for business without compromising one’s integrity – which, unfortunately, is a rare practice these days.  Bullying is not Dominance.  Knowing how to present your desires and create boundaries for the barbarians who do not practice common courtesy are necessary skills to hone.

Third, anyone, Dominant or otherwise, who chooses to be at the effect of Her environment rather than affecting Her environment, practices personal irresponsibility (it is always someone else’s fault that things are not as desired.  Our societies force-feed personal irresponsibility upon Us via social, religious, and economic conditioning.  However, We always have the choice to evolve past mediocrity.)  There is a difference between being stern and being rude, and becoming adept in the Art of Communication is the most important skill a Dominant can have.

Those who have the fortitude to go against “the norm” learn that the only true power is power with, not power over others and are the most successful.  Just look at Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, and other moguls who engage the best in people to achieve the ultimate success.

Finally, be who you are, not a twisted interpretation of what a Dominant is as determined by other people’s fantasies projected onto your reality.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREE Fetish Etiquette GuideWebcam WorkshopsPartyDomme.com News


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles:

Domme for Dollars

October 29, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I am a new slave and new to the scene.  What should I expect from a Mistress?  Some bring up money.  Is that what it’s about?  ~ new and confused

 *****

Dear new and confused,

I understand that you’re new.  It is a personal peeve of Mine for “newbies” (or anyone) to determine themselves “slaves” or “Dommes” without the first clue as to what that IS or involves.  If you were truly a “slave” in service to a REAL Mistress, you would be properly trained and not asking this question.  Period.

In My public service article, Domme v. dumme, I specify the differences between REAL Dominants and “hoochies with whips,” who are usually silly-young-girls being manipulated by some guy who calls his pseudo-brothel a “dungeon.”  There is as much a difference between a tribute and a fee as there is a difference between a true professional and an actor who plays one on TV.

A REAL Mistress has invested the time, education, and dedication to Fetish As Art with the intention and understanding that BDSM IS an integral part of Her Life, not solely a source of income.  To serve a REAL Mistress requires dedication and a measure of worth on your part.  Tribute is an offering of appreciation to the Domina for Her time, consideration, and attention regarding you.  A REAL tribute may or may not be monetary and if you are in service to a REAL Dominant, you will not be required to pay a “requisite amount” each and every time you visit.  Be sure to read submissive v. substandard to understand the dynamic involved with being in service to a Dominant.

More information on the Lifestyle and safety practices can be found HERE.  I encourage you to do the research to give yourself the opportunity to experience the best that Fetish has to offer.  Because the adage, “you get what you pay for” does not purely have monetary application; skill and authenticity are paramount for happiness in all areas of life.  And that’s what it’s all about.
Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREE Fetish Etiquette GuideWebcam WorkshopsPartyDomme.com News


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles: