Day 5, Nia, Purpose: Gifts from Me Inspired By The Kwanzaa Tradition

Day 5: Nia

December 26, 2013

For the next 8 days, I will give you gifts (including some of My Beauty & Wellness Secrets) of My Creative Expressions inspired by the Principles of Kwanzaa!  Why?  Because (1) gift-giving is one of My Fetishes and this is a series of special posts to address many questions I receive about maintaining your wellness: Mind, Body and Spirit; and (2) this venture is part of My continuing gifts to improve the state of the Fetish Scene (and beyond) today, which, as with all things, begins and ends with each of Us.  So, I give you opportunities to expand your awareness and education, and to enjoy being creative!

The Kwanzaa tradition was founded in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga who created a uniquely, African-American and Pan-African holiday which is celebrated from December 26th through January 1st. Kwanzaa is related to many African celebrations of the first harvest.  (Read more on


Today, the fifth day of Kwanzaa’s Principles is Nia (purpose): To restore African American people to their traditional greatness. To be responsible to Those Who Came Before (our ancestors) and to Those Who Will Follow (our descendants).

Pronounced NEE-ah

Symbol: Mishumaa Saba (mee-shoo-MAH SAH-ba): The Seven Candles, representing the seven principles of Nguzo Saba (The 7 Principles of Kwanzaa), which are placed in the Kwanzaa Kinara. The colors of the candles are red, green, and black which are the colors of the Bendera (or African Flag).  Note:  There are 7 Symbols of Kwanzaa.  I have included them in no specific order.


Just when I thought I’d survived 2012’s challenges,  this past year’s gems elicited quite a few swear words…  HOWEVER, I am greatful for how life tried to kick My glorious butt because I got just the clarity I needed for the revival of My Mojo!   I’m feeling really good when I could choose to whine about it all.  Perspective is everything.

Challenges serve to define Us.  They are wonderful servants to show Us what We’re made of; to show Us Our thoughts then and now; to give Us opportunities to reflect and to redirect Our intentions; to assist Us in defining WHO, WHAT, and HOW We want to BE and WHY = Purpose.  The more clarity you have for your purpose, the more thrilling life is!

Most people make a mistake in believing that We only have one purpose in life and that once We choose something, that is what We need to devote all of Our time and attention to.  Another error is to think that your purpose is what you do rather than who and how you are.

The true point of your purpose in life is to BE Happy.

Happiness is defined by the quality of your life including how you feel about yourself.  When We choose to BE Our Best, We are constantly evolving to becoming better and better.  So, your purpose evolves with you, too.  And it is healthy to re-evaluate and update the process as you go along.

I am ever researching ways to make life better and more fun, of course!  Below are some of the gems I’ve found to maintain a positive and powerful journey of purpose!

Finding Your Purpose

Ask The Right Questions.  Success training teaches that when you ask the right questions, you get the right answers.  So, ask yourself empowering questions to clarify and define your purpose.   For example, asking, why am I stuck in a dead-end job? is a question that the answers to are only about being trapped in misery; asking, what do I love to do and how can I support myself doing it? yields answers to take positive actions toward the achievement of your desires.  Check out these guidelines to ask better questions for better results.

Get your priorities straight.  Organize, schedule, and commit to Life-Affirming activities.  Unless you’re making money from it, NO, Keeping Up With The Kardashians and other inane, brain-drain distractions serve NO value – not even for entertainment, because there is no intellectual or creative stimulation in time-and-energy-wasters of this kind.  They are “judgmental TV” where you exercise lower vibrations that suck the creativity and the ability to achieve right out of your life.  If you’re going to exercise  – which you SHOULD do daily – put your energy into maintaining your wellness and enhancing your knowledge.  It’s ludicrous to find time to schedule your life around useless activities that add to your unhealthy and unhappy ways when the same amount of time –  or less – can be used on fulfilling pursuits.   ONLY when you feel good, will your life be good.  The best way to feel good is to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

Stay stimulated.  What makes you feel alive?  What makes your life exciting and worth living?   It is scientifically and medically proven that keeping your brain exercised not only enhances the quality of your life throughout the aging process, but also prevents mental and physical deterioration – of course, spiritual health is affected, too.   Keep your focus on positive inspirations.  What you focus on expands.  That means that your attention affects your intention – which creates your outcome.

Do what makes you feel good on a regular basis.  Of course, I advocate regular mental and physical exercise.  Also, having a constructive hobby to engage in keeps your creative and self-loving energies flowing.  When you feel good, you look good, and life is better and better because your perspective permits you to make it so.  AND the better you feel and look, the better-quality people and situations will be attracted to you for collaboration and cooperation.  Which leads to:

Let go of what no longer serves your Highest Good.  This can be an extremely difficult commitment to make to your well-BEing.  As We grow personally and become Better, We discover how many of the people in Our lives are NOT really in Our corner.  Remember, most people operate from FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real, and project their fears onto you.   Fear projection takes many forms, such as jealousy, sabotage, slander, and just about every form of abuse.  Sadly, We experience most of the abusive behaviors from people We love and trust.

While you can CHOOSE TO HAVE COMPASSION, it is paramount to your well-BEing to  “re-categorize” such individuals’ importance and place in your life.  This doesn’t mean that you stop loving them; it means that RIGHT NOW, you have to love yourself more by loving them in a different way – which can often mean “from afar.”  You CAN CHOOSE to avoid the “ugly drama” and playing the make-wrong games by creating “gentle distance” – which will definitely show the quality and intention of the individual by their reactions RIGHT NOW so that you can choose what you want to do concerning them in the immediate future.  There’s an expression:

If you love someone, set them free.  If they return to you, it’s meant to be.

Not everything or everyone is meant to be in your life forever.   We are all here to learn from each other.  Whatever the outcome, the ultimate lesson I’ve learned and maintain as a practice in My life is  to appreciate them for who they were in My life, and to release them for who they choose to be NOW.  This practice makes forgiveness a whole lot easier all the way around.  There is always the possibility that the person can return in the future to be a loving and supportive person in your life.  However, by letting go of negative, non-supportive people, situations, and things in your life (e.g., habits that contribute to unhealthy practices), you can keep your focus on your purpose, which is, ultimately, TO BE HAPPY.

See related articles at the bottom of this post.

Here’s to BEing Your Best!

Always MY Pleasure & The Best,
Mistress Didi*


If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*.  Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

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©Mss Didi* ~


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.