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© Mss Didi* ~ www.PartyDomme.com

My Photo Shoot Preparation Techniques

 

 

Originally Written March 11, 2014; Revised December 3, 2016

This gift is what I offer to participants of My Photo Soirees to prepare and create an excellent experience and for the benefit of more usable photos from photo  shoots.

I designed My Photo Soirees to counter the annoyance of dealing with the many aggravations of taking photos which, in My experience, have included dealing with the egos of photographers who believe that they are far more talented than they will probably ever be; improper setup for what was discussed for the shoot; and the commercial use of My photos without My permission or signed model releases (one creep attempted to forge My signature on a release form when I sued him in court and won).

I screen and choose the photographers for My Photo Soirees so that models, who are often non-professionals, have no worries. I also ensure that models and photographers are legally protected by a carefully constructed, Model & Photographer’s Release that outlines the rules and conditions for the use of photographs and which everyone who participates signs in agreement.

Mistress Didi*s Photo Shoot Preparation Techniques

1) When choosing a photographer, make sure that her/his portfolio includes people who look like you. Photographers put their best work in their portfolios and online so if you don’t see anyone who looks like you, that photographer may have no idea how to shoot you. Considerations to include are the races, ages, shapes, and the models’ expressions that you see presented. (If most of the models in the portfolio have that vacant-duh-look, that is probably not what you want for your holiday card photos!)  If you see that the photographer’s specialty is children and weddings, engaging their services for a Boudoir shoot may not be the right move.

2) Determine the details of the shoot with the photographer in advance. Be specific about what the shoot will involve including price, number of wardrobe changes, make-up and stylist options, type of shoot (e.g., glamour, artistic, boudoir, etc.), session duration; etc.

a) Don’t take anything for granted: it is always best to ask specific questions and have the details agreed to in writing by all parties involved.

i) Determine the conditions for your receipt of your photos. I insist on receiving ALL of My photos in digital format (but I have special deals with photographers with whom I shoot). I recommend that you do not use photographers who offer x amount of “free photos” and a contact sheet and who hold the rest of your shots “hostage for ransom.” Especially if you are new to modeling, find photographers who are willing to shoot in a Time For Prints capacity. Many amateur photographers are building their portfolios and testing techniques. Use these opportunities to get to know how you look best in photos.

ii) I strongly suggest you familiarize yourself with the terms of a standard model’s release (notice that most releases are written completely for the benefit of the photographer to own your images in whole or in part) to determine if and/or what may be changed.

iii) This is an excellent article about model releases for the model’s protection: Model releases: When you should sign one and what it should include.

iv) See Model Releases: What You Need to Know (With Samples) for more detailed information and options to consider.

v) I also suggest searching online (or, even better, ask an attorney friend) for specific clauses that may be included in a model’s release to suit your needs (e.g., duration of use; nature of use; likeness; consent of use; rights of publicity; etc.). See Model Citizens: Protecting Images with a Model Release; All About Model Releases; and Adding restrictive clauses in model release forms: as a model, what rights do I have in doing so?

NOTE: For all of the above reasons and more, I created My Photo Soirees so that models can enjoy a “preview” of a photographer’s work before paying for photos. Many people would like to have some professional and/or good amateur shots without being put through the ringer of legalities, paying high fees, and without having the fear of being exploited by “shutter-trolls.”

b) I recommend bringing your own music to the shoot for comfort and flow. Ask the photographer about the studio’s sound system to ensure that your device can be accommodated.

i) Make sure to discuss the type of music you’re bringing in case it is something that the photographer can’t stand – which will affect the vibe and, quite probably, your photos..  For example, not everyone finds offensive lyrics necessary or enjoyable in what’s being called music these days…

ii) I have a small speaker with great sound just in case the location is not set up with a sound system (e.g., outdoor shoots). I also recommend playing the music at comfortable (not blaring) levels so that you and the photographer can easily hear each other.

iii) Personally, I will NOT participate with a photographer who has issues with music playing while I model – unless I am being paid well for the shoot.

3) Determine what type(s) of photos you want. Looking for ideas in magazines may be helpful, but it’s very important to be realistic about your strong points and not get caught up in fantasies portrayed by professional models. For example, a pose with a model arching back on horseback may not look good on you, arching back in a chair.

4) At least 7 days in advance, begin thinking about your shoot wardrobe. What look(s) do you wish to portray? For example, if you’re doing a Boudoir shoot, do you want a long, flowing negligee or a short and sassy baby doll? Both? Neither?

a) It’s smart to discuss your wardrobe color choices with the photographer in advance so that lighting and backdrop considerations can be made.

5) Play Dress Up and try on your shoot wardrobe with full make-up and accessories. Unless you are engaging a professional make-up artist and a stylist who will provide wardrobe for you, organize your looks to ensure that you have everything you need way before your shoot date. Consider make-up, color choices; jewelry; shoes; underwear; hosiery; and other accessories to give you the look you want.

a) I suggest you take selfies in your outfits and make-up to see how you look “on camera” – even though your cell phone’s camera is not going to give the same effect as the professional’s. Quite often, We don’t really know what We look like (We’re on the inside looking out, after all) and seeing your poses on camera will help you to make adjustments for better poses and empowering “Key Word triggers” (see below).

i) Cool Tip: Invest in a small tripod to take full-length photos. (Hint: check the discount stores – you never know what you’ll find on sale!  I purchased a tabletop tripod for $10 that works wonderfully!)

b) If you don’t engage a professional, make-up artist, remember to wear extra translucent powder and use smoothing techniques to apply a little extra foundation – especially for glamour shots. Be sure to apply foundation to neck and ears for an all-over, even tone. And it is imperative that you use a foundation that is actually your color and a primer (if necessary) for your skin tone(s). If not sure, I recommend a visit to a MAC counter for a consultation because MAC generally employs professional, makeup artists to represent their brand.

6) Practice Poses in The Mirror and “Key Word. What fun! Put on some good music, dance/move and pose in front of a full-length, mirror. Knowing what you look like in your shoot wardrobe will make you infinitely more comfortable for the shoot. For best results:

a) Choose music you know well and tunes that are your favorite jams! The movements you feel to the music that moves you will help you to ease into some of your best poses and let your personality come through in your photos. And you know those key moments in the music where you emphasize your groove? Use those to “Key Word.” Use this music for your shoot.

i) Imagine any dancer and/or drag queen in the world grooving to “Vogue” by Madonna for a good example of how well this technique works.

b) As you pose, “Key Word,” which is to use a specific word to set a trigger to recall the feeling of the pose in your body. A trigger allows you to control your automatic response system via your awareness and conscious choice by conditioning a physical action to achieve the desired state. See also The Tapping Solution to assist with “anchoring” desired states – and especially if you find yourself with a case of pre-shoot jitters!

i)       Key Word Technique 1: When striking a specific pose that you like, recall an experience that reminds you of how you feel.  One of My most, joyous experiences – just thinking about it gives Me a warm-fuzzy-thrill-smile – was My first, weekend trip to Cancun that turned into a 6 week adventure…  Whenever I think of lying topless on the peer in the glorious sun and having admirers send champagne and lunch to Me daily, I feel beautiful, appreciated, and like the Goddess that I am!  I feel the same electricity in My body now as I recall what I felt while I was actually lying on the peer, just by thinking of it!  I have “anchored” this feeling into My body and consciousness to be triggered at will.  So, whenever I want to recall that feeling, I Key Word, “Cancun” – see Key Word Technique 2.

ii) Key Word Technique 2: “Flow” your expressions as you think of specific words that you have very, particular associations to. For example, I love chocolate and I am fully aware that I Key Word, “chocolate” to conjure the feeling of intense sensuality because of Ann Margret and the chocolate-and-baked-beans scene in Tommy that I saw when I was a Little Diva! Watch and you’ll totally understand! (Note: I strongly suggest you lower your volume to watch this video. You may also need to disable ad-blocking.)

 

7) Prep your wardrobe with all items for each outfit packed together, and make a list of all “ingredients.” This is an invaluable technique that saves time, diminishes stress, and adds a sense of calm with intelligent flow. Having complete outfits organized with everything together and a written back-up list allows for seamless transitions and ease.

a) I list everything that makes an “outfit” on index cards. This way, when I change from one outfit to another, I don’t have to think about what goes with what, or waste time looking for anything.

b) Even if you do have travel sets, make it easy on yourself and pack items in clear, zip-locking, plastic bags so that things are easy to see, pack, and keep together.

c) Pack the components of complete outfits in large bags (preferably of different colors) so that you can select the whole bag with everything for an outfit in it and easily place everything back to stay organized. Then, at the end of your shoot, you can quickly review your index cards to ensure that you have re-packed everything you brought with you.

d) I advise you to carry the majority of items you bring in a bag on wheels because lugging bags drains energy and you can look a little tired on camera (the camera shows everything).

8) Have a “dress rehearsal” a day before the shoot. The idea is to anchor your vision of how you look and feel with your Key Words as close to your shoot as possible. Make your dress rehearsal fun and part of Love-You-Time so that you feel good and prepared.

9) Get plenty of rest and make sure you eat before your photo shoot. Not enough rest and low blood sugar will make you look tired and/or cranky – even if you’re smiling. You need fuel to perform at your best, so eat a healthy meal before your shoot to maintain your energy throughout its duration. Of course, don’t stuff your face with high sugar and/or salt edibles because they are “puffy foods” that can cause swelling around the eyes and cheeks. And while it may be a myth that “the camera adds 10 pounds,” it’s true that you can look heavier on camera depending upon your poses, make-up, and wardrobe.

a) Be sure to bring a bottle of water to your shoot. It’s always best to have your own supplies.

10) Be certain to contact the photographer the day before to confirm your appointment and request a reply. I believe that an email AND text (or phone call) work best.

11) Be on time for your shoot. A hurried and harried model is a nightmare for all involved. The point is to take the best photos and have a good time while shooting. So, check traffic, map your route and an alternate, and have back-up-travel plans ready the day before your shoot.

a) If you are doing your own make-up, add an additional 20-30 minutes to your prep time. Sometimes, nerves can make the straight line that you draw every day go crooked and across your face for no reason at all! A little extra time will allow you to ease through your process and have time for corrections, if needed.

i) Consider what you actually need for touch-ups so that you don’t carry the entire make-up bag. You’ll have enough stuff to carry, so don’t bring the giant, suitcase of lipsticks when you’re only wearing Red No. 1.

12) When you arrive for your shoot, take a deep breath, say hi to the photographer (don’t just rush into the space in a frenzy), and share a good-clean-joke. Laughter is the best way to ease tension, make a connection, and relax your facial muscles!

Professional results start with you. See you in the pictures!

Quick Online Photo Tips

1) Check out Irfanview for a free and easy, image editor or use Lunapic online to resize your photos.

2) NEVER put your photos online without watermarks. If I had a nickel for every time someone has attempted to steal My photos to use for promotional purposes and some have even put their heads on My body... Yes, that is true and one creature even had the nerve to send ME “a photo of her” which was an adulterated picture exactly like that.

3) NEVER put your best photos online for 2 reasons: (i) deter the theft of your images and (ii) always look better in person!

If you find that My techniques work for you, feel free to let Me know and send Me a few of your photos! I PROMISE not to use your photos in any way, shape, or form without your written permission.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles:
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How to Deal with Piggy Dom/mes

A Domina101™ Tip

December 27, 2014

This post is in response to a few conversations regarding an incident where a Dominant made a few enemies due to her lack of courtesy. Let this be a guideline for You when You’re “Domme-tripping,” and for how to deal with head-trippers.

Never expect anything from a pig except a grunt.
~ #quote My Fabulous Grandmother

AskMistressDidi.comYou know that thing: the oh-so-Dommey-Dom/me who condescends to You right off the bat? Even knowing that You’re a Domme? Not that condescending without a good reason is ever ok…

My recent experience of that thing while celebrating the Holiday Spirit:  I asked a few Dommes I’ve been aware of if they would like for Me to mention them and their works in My Holiday Newsletter. One lovely, Domina said thanks and didn’t give Me drama-not-on-Broadway where drama belongs. The other one is the perfect representation of what I’m writing here and I’ve made her useful for a Domina101™ training. Now:

1)    I am a very gregarious person and a strong supporter of Women Supporting Women;

2)    I am in NO way desperate for content for My Newsletter or for anything that I do; and

3)    I am not asking for anything from YOU other than exactly how you would like Me to present your work in My Newsletter, which is more for-and-about-you than it is for Me.  If one chooses to look at the situation as someone doing something for someone else (which I don’t), I’m doing YOU the favor of free promotion – not the other way around. I am generously sharing My resources with You.

We all know that technology today makes it possible to research the person you’re dealing with before you make a complete turd of yourself. And yet, it is My experience on a regular basis that all these silly creatures do is look at My photos and immediately make up ignorant- fantasies about Me that are extremely limited… The really gruesome just look to pick out specific words in something you and I post online about OUR experiences to play the make-wrong game. And those who believe that they are as ugly as they are, are outright rude in person – as if somehow, everyone observing will not peg their behavior as jealousy. Pity these people; there is something seriously lacking in the quality of their existence that makes them hostile and combative. Pity them, but definitely put them in their places – beneath You.

While I do pity them, I find it helpful to understand the motivations for their rudeness to prevent Me from wanting to completely eviscerate them. I am a Responsible Sadist whose motto is:

Don’t start none, won’t be none – I finish it.

How To Handle The Piggy Dom/me

1)    Recognize that s/he is intimidated by You and needs to convince herself of her false-sense of superiority. People who suffer from inferiority complexes often believe that if they can force their idea of dominance onto you, that they will prove to the world that they are superior to everything and everyone else.

2)    Whatever You do, do not become hostile. That’s exactly what they want You to do! They can only feel alive through negative experiences because that is the punishment of people who focus on lower-level activities and expression. These are the people, after all, who usually don’t exercise, eat well, or read, and who rush to watch judgment-TV with bowls of junk food-stuff on a daily basis. That is the recipe for toxicity and they are toxic in mind, body, and spirit. So, they most certainly can’t feel good about themselves and they want to disrupt the flow of everyone who not only lives well and feels good, but certainly those who look good! These are also the people who are quick to call YOU conceited for having a sense of style – which, in My Opinion, is Our Duty To Society.

3)    Dismiss them. As always, You have the choice in how You wish to respond. I usually treat them with pleasantries and respect right up until the moment they serve their purpose for Me dealing with them in the first place. Then, I immediately change My tone of communication to a clearly-dismissive one. This lets them know that they are no longer of importance and shakes up their comfort zone. The best part is that I always “plant a seed of torture”Domina101™ participants know what I mean! Ahhh, delicious!

A favorite story recanted among My Associates is of a male dominant who had the audacity to think he could bark orders to Us at an event. You know the type: the guy who thinks that every woman – especially Dommes – really want to sub to him.  It was immediately clear to Me that this person would never be someone or something enjoyable or of value to Me or Mine. So, I chose to “nip it in the bud,” as the expression goes. I stood in front of him, pointed My finger at him, laughed genuinely, turned to My submissive and walked away, laughing. For the rest of the event, I specifically let him see Me enjoying Myself with worthy humans and not once did My eyes glance in his direction. I made him disappear. As usual, the gruesome grapevine passed along his attempts to defame Me, but witnesses addressed his rudeness before I ever got wind of their remarks – not that I care about gruesomes have to say anyway. They only serve to add salt to the wounds of My sprouting seeds of torture.

4)    Most importantly, let it be known that You don’t care about them. They have served your purpose and are unworthy of further attention. People who do not care for themselves want you – anyone – to care about them. Because they know that they are bereft of redeeming qualities, the only tool they have to be noticed is gruesome behavior. And that’s where pity can be a most useful tool for You.

As a Responsible Sadist, I find comfort in leading them by the nose into seeing just how ridiculous they are. Because I am a firm believer in Karma, I always find ways to give a reality slap that permits offenders the opportunity for personal growth – which is good for My Karma, which is always My primary motivation. What they choose to do with My Gift is their karma.

Always MY Pleasure & The Best,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

 *****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*.  Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.

 

Rules For Clear Communication

August 13, 2014

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I want You to know that I completely disagree with [NAME WITHHELD] and I did not feel like You were trying to tell me how to be a “real Domme.” I have been thinking about Our conversation and I now see what You pointed out as “possibilities” to be true!  The sub was topping from the bottom and he did hear what he wanted to hear when he wanted to hear it.  It became clear that he was playing me!  I was explaining [what You said] to my Domme friends and request that You please say it again to make sure that we get it right.  Thank You!

Miss ShaR

~~~~~~~~~

Dear Miss ShaR,

First, I thank You for receiving My observations as possibilities and for not feeling threatened by fantasies that My intention is to dictate anything to You or that My way is the “one twue wayyy” of Dominance – like the h8ters accuse. Clearly, h8ters never realize that using that concept is a cop-out for their own feelings of ineptitude and their inability to receive or perceive beyond their limitations.

I offered what I observed as a possibility from My own personal experience; that I could be wrong; and that the possibility could be something to consider. I noticed that You repeated Yourself more than twice to the sub, who was busy being interested in what he wanted to be interested in at the event instead of doing his job, attending to You. Unless a Domme’s fetish is dealing with people with ADHD-type behaviors or repeating Herself, a sub’s lack of attention is:

  • Disrespectful to the Domme. What is a submissive’s purpose in Your Domain? To serve You on Your terms as You decide he will serve. If the sub – and especially in public – is not attentive to You, it appears to The Scene that You are at fault in his training – no matter what the real deal is. And that presents a picture for all kinds of annoying situations to think that they can make a home in Your zone because not only are first impressions lasting, but too many creeple are out here looking for any and everything negative to disrupt Your flow – even if they have to make it up;
  • A sign of a lack of commitment to his service agreement with the Domme. There are whole generations of folks who believe that they can demonstrate the worst behaviors which will inevitably be forgiven and forgotten til the next time – and each and every time. I believe that this is a poor-parenting failure that is perpetrated on a variety of levels. The brat gets away with it at the source of his relationship identity and fully expects the same from You and everyone else on the planet, evidently…; and
  • Stressful to the Domme and, subsequently (no pun intended) to the sub. While there are tons of creeple addicted to chaos, most of Us don’t want to be stressed – especially in Our Fetish Lives.

In defense of a sub, quite often, communication rules are not clearly defined and mishaps can happen. This is why I present to The Domina101™ Collective:

Rules For Clear Communication

Know What You Want

First and foremost, a Domme needs to (i) know what She wants and (ii) choose the best ways to communicate Her wants. All too often, I see people barking orders and the sub as no clue what is really being requested of him because the Dominant doesn’t really know either! Vague commands yield “non-results” and are a setup for failure all the way around. Most submissives will default to what they already know (training from someone and somewhere else) when they do not have clear directives. It is imperative to know exactly what you want to have a starting point to be able to communicate your desires.

I streamline My conversation to the best of My ability – e.g., carefully choosing explicit words for EXACTLY what I want in order to make it easy for people to understand Me. The problem is that everyone is conditioned to believe that they can magically anticipate what someone wants from what we think they should want based upon our fantasies of their lives. I suggest that You research effective communication techniques for project managers because, after all, You are managing Your Domain. You will develop Your own sense of what works for You, of course, but the more You know, the better things go!

I am also consistent. I clearly define and relay My Rules to everyone, including posting them online, for people who want to participate in My Domain to be personally responsible for adhering to them. I actually have a script so that I tell each person the exact same thing and I have them repeat what My instructions mean in their own words to ensure that misunderstandings are not on My end. Each and every time, culprits attempt to insist that their behavior was in My “best interests” while clearly disrespecting My Rules – which is always merely them enacting their own agenda without consideration for the commitment they made. Their typical next step is to attempt to feign being offended and lashing out against you (i) because their behavior is not excused and (ii) for pointing out their wrong-doing with documented facts.

The Hearing Technique:

Most of the time, people speak at each other and not with each other.  To enhance comprehension:

1)  Identify and get clear on what You want to say.

2)  Choose the simplest, most direct words to communicate what You want.

  • Further simplify by expressing it as if You were communicating with a 5-year-old. This is not to be condescending (unless that’s part of the Fetish!); it helps you to be certain that you’re being clear

3)  Ask the person(s) to repeat back to You in their own words so that YOU can be sure You communicated clearly and were heard; revise as necessary

Often, I will tell the submissive about this process so that it is further enhanced by his own awareness of and focus on the technique. How people show up is what makes it worth Your while to continue with their service to You.

I use this technique in all of My communications with Dominants and submissives alike. It takes a bit of practice – and practice cannot always guarantee perfection. Some people are committed to being disruptive (See How To Handle Disruptors). But these tools will enhance your best efforts.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbookWorkshopshttps://askmssdidi.com/1/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/readmynewsletter.gif


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.