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Day 2, Kujichagulia, Self-Determination: Gifts from Me Inspired By The Kwanzaa Tradition

Day 2: Kujichagulia, Self-Determination

December 26, 2013

For the next 8 days, I will give you gifts (including some of My Beauty & Wellness Secrets) of My Creative Expressions inspired by the Principles of Kwanzaa! Why? Because (1) gift-giving is one of My Fetishes and this is a series of special posts to address many questions I receive about maintaining your wellness: Mind, Body and Spirit; and (2) this venture is part of My continuing gifts to improve the state of the Fetish Scene (and beyond) today, which, as with all things, begins and ends with each of Us. So, I give you opportunities to expand your awareness and education, and to enjoy being creative!

The Kwanzaa tradition was founded in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga who created a uniquely, African-American and Pan-African holiday which is celebrated from December 26th through January 1st. Kwanzaa is related to many African celebrations of the first harvest. (Read more on Holidays.net.)

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Today, the second day of Kwanzaa’s Principles is Kujichagulia (self-determination): To be responsible for ourselves. To create your own destiny.

Pronounced koo-jee-chah-goo-LEE-ah

Symbol: The Kinara (kee-NAH-rah) symbolizes stalks of corn that branch off to form new stalks, much as the human family is created. Representing our African ancestors, the Kinara holds the seven candles that symbolize the Nguzo Saba (The 7 Principles). The Kinara is placed on the Mkeka (the Mat) and holds the Mishumaa Saba (the seven candles). Note: There are 7 Symbols of Kwanzaa. I have included them in no specific order.

Kujichagulia is My favorite, personal Kwanzaa Principle because each year, I reflect on what I’ve learned about Myself and how I am in the world in order to choose how I want to evolve to BEing Better than I’ve ever been before!

The way to do this is to ACCEPT YOURSELF, which means to allow yourself to be a human being with all your “faults,” “mistakes,” and “fears” – self-defined, and as defined by others usually intending to control you. The one thing that can be narrowed down from all other things that make Us the most unhappy is JUDGMENT – self-judgment and accepting the judgments of others.

To BE Your Best, you have to be brave enough to:

1. Face Your Fears (Remember, FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real).

2. Accept Responsibility For Your Actions. In other words, give up the “blame game” (also known as the “make wrong game”) because even under the most dire circumstances, you have choices. Most decisions are based on the fear of imagined consequences.

3. Forgive Yourself (and others) for not living up to your expectations (a.k.a. delusions). The more you hold onto “making wrong” (yourself and/or others), the longer you will remain in the stagnation that separates you from being happy and having valid pride in yourself. (Of course, if you are a total creep, you should make yourself wrong for heinous behavior and take every step to improve your existence.) The questions to ask are: How do I want the end of my life to be? to feel? How do I want to feel now? Am I living in ways to deserve that?

4. Choose To Become Aware Of Your Motivations To Better Choose Your Desired Behavior. In this world of distraction upon distraction at Our fingertips with a swipe, it’s even easier to avoid the all-too-often-ugly-truth behind WHY you do what you do. Repeat Steps 1 through 3 above so that you won’t be a prisoner to subconscious – and “sub-conscience” – influences that inevitably serve to make you feel bad about being you.

5. Be honest about what you want AND allow yourself to deserve it. It will be no surprise should you discover while taking the Steps above that you, too, are a product of the “social stratification machine” that is designed to keep you a slave to those who control your world – economically, socially, religiously, etc. Now, don’t get caught up in the blame-game! Take a deep breath, look at how and when you get “caught up” in making yourself wrong, and repeat Steps 2 and 3 above. This practice is the power for success in your Personal Evolution. The questions to ask are: Who do I want to be? How do I want to feel about being me? Don’t judge the answers; observe them to see what your next steps can be.

6. TRUST that you will be fine – better than fine; GREAT! This is having faith (Imani, Kwanzaa Principle Day 7) in yourself. This takes you back to Step 1 above, facing your fears in order to discover what blocks you from being your best – and being worthy of your best.

Yes, this is work – often hard and scary. Isn’t The Gift Of Your Life worth making the best of it? Aren’t you worthy of living a fulfilling life of joy and personal contentment? If your immediate answer was not a resounding YES, the question to ask is: Why not?

And if that’s not motivation enough for you, all of the above will strengthen you against the onslaughts of the jealous and petty who want to see you fail because they are too cowardly to work on themselves to BE Better.

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” – M. Scott Peck

“Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.” – Helen Keller

See related articles at the bottom of this post.

Here’s to BEing Your Best!

Always MY Pleasure & The Best,
Mistress Didi*

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If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.

Day 1, Umoja, Unity: Gifts from Me Inspired By The Kwanzaa Tradition

Day 1: Umoja, Unity

December 26, 2013

For the next 7 days, I will give you gifts (including some of My Beauty & Wellness Secrets) of My Creative Expressions inspired by the Principles of Kwanzaa! Why? Because (1) gift-giving is one of My Fetishes and this is a series of special posts to address many questions I receive about maintaining your wellness: Mind, Body and Spirit; and (2) this venture is part of My continuing gifts to improve the state of the Fetish Scene (and beyond) today, which, as with all things, begins and ends with each of Us. So, I give you opportunities to expand your awareness and education, and to enjoy being creative!

*****

Today, the first day of Kwanzaa’s Principles is Umoja (unity): To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.

Pronounced: (oo-MOH-jah)

Symbol: Kikombe Cha Umoja “Unity Cup” represents family and community unity. When the Unity cup filled with water, juice, or wine, a little bit is poured out as reminder and respect for Our ancestors. The cup is then passed around and shared with those gathered, with each person taking a sip. Note: There are 7 Symbols of Kwanzaa. I have included them in no specific order.

My contribution for Umoja and strengthening Unity with the worthy people in My Life are 2 posts about 2 Universal Principles: Forgiveness and Practicing Gratitude. The bottom line: how you feel about everything in your life determines the quality of your life. So, the smart thing to do is to find and use tools to create ways for you to handle the stresses and creepazoids in your life.

ALL great teachings and, now, scientific proof backs up the fact that your thoughts create/affect your reality. It’s not so much WHAT or WHO is going on as it is HOW YOU CHOOSE TO DEAL with situations.

Forgiveness is for YOU because, as I had the honor of the Dalai Lama telling Me personally (I paraphrase): Karma is can you sleep at night. You cannot change the past; you can only make peace for yourself to create an empowered and happy future.

Practicing Gratitude permits you to OWN YOUR POWER by taking back and maintaining your control of your own destiny by stimulating and activating the chemicals in your body that allow you to feel good. And when you feel good, you can do whatever you set out to do. Utilize the “10 Things I Am Grateful For Today” exercise I describe in the post.

I find that Practicing Gratitude and Forgiveness allow Me to:

be at peace with Myself about My experiences and learn from them, and
connect with like-energies on deeper, more fulfilling levels.

How you see the Universe is how the Universe will be for you. – Dr. Ellie Drake

Ye shall be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Romans 12:2, The Bible, King James Version

See related articles at the bottom of this post.

Good luck! You CAN do it!

Always MY Pleasure & The Best,
Mistress Didi*

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Chill Out Training Technique: The Tapping Solution

UPDATE: October 4, 2020

I offer this technique that has scientific backup, as well as My personal experience to attest to how well it can work if you work it.

October 27, 2013

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

You trained My submissive in a variety of techniques that he constantly used and began sharing with Me before his untimely death. There was one that he used all of the time whenever he felt nervous or distressed that worked wonders, and I did not get the opportunity to learn. I noticed that he would pat himself in specific areas of his body. Would You please tell Me what this technique is and how I can learn more about it?

Your Friend, Domina D

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Dear Domina D,

I will use My response as an Ask Mss Didi* post to share with many others.

First:

I state on My websites, profiles, everywhere, that I have NO interest in controlling anyone and that Self-Control is the ONLY control there is. I don’t see the purpose of having anyone around Me who lacks self-control… hence, the dismissal of the unworthy.

EVERYTHING is a choice; We usually choose the lesser suffering… or so We think.

So, when I offer a technique that has scientific proof, as well as personal experience and testimonials from people I respect, to assist in training, I sit back and permit Myself to be amused.

Let’s be clear that “training” begins and ends with YOU because, as with everything else, whatever occurs, it is your choice how you choose to deal with things. We are domesticated (trained) by social, religious, family, etc., “dick-tations” that We spend a lifetime trying to figure out how to evolve from. The bottom line is: You are either in control of Your own destiny or You are controlled by how you give your power away.

See Manipulation Tactics: Who’s Topping You?

Since it seems that so many people have lost their minds (what little they had to begin with), and the rest of Us are annoyed with having to keep Our cool, I am going to offer a simple technique that I share with My friends and give to My submissive trainees. I support My friends in their development – as long as they choose to improve – I don’t tolerate whining and insistence on inferiority.

I let the submissive prove their worth; those who practice the technique excel – not only in their training with and for Me, but in all areas of their lives. The “substandards” (and people who insist on maintaining mediocrity and drama) ignore the technique in whatever ways-for whatever, lame reasons and commit to remaining failures. they are dismissed.

Please NOTE that I swear by this technique for Myself and it totally works for Me and everyone who chooses to work it. Tapping is a physiological-neurolinguistic technique that you can learn in less than 4 minutes (see video). There is an accompanying book and a movie, both of which I found value in, but you don’t need them to get started and achieve immediate results.

This technique interrupts psycho-kinetic patterns (conscious/subconscious-physical) that create chemical responses in Our bodies which We interpret as stress, fear, panic, confusion, depression, etc. The technique then permits you to re-pattern your response by identifying and acknowledging your process that triggers the negative responses. With practice and choice, you can trigger positive chemistry, emotions, and responses.

Of course, there are always people claiming that something doesn’t work – when what they mean is that they FAILED to work it! When you take a look at these critics, they are far too often pushers of Big Pharma poisons and/or out to sell some product of their own. I advise you to consider what is most important to you: choosing natural techniques that give you the power, or choosing the fast-track-pill-approach – which inevitably leads to toxicity, more pills, new maladies, and starting from the beginning with your “issues” all over again… and again… because you avoided dealing with them in the first place. Choose wisely.

Albert Einstein is credited with saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and again and expecting a different result.

Best of all:

you can learn Tapping in under 4 minutes
you can enjoy free, Tapping scripts and meditations
anyone, any age can do it!

Imagine if better parents taught their children to be in charge of their emotions instead of being allowed to act out… Imagine how much better your life would have been if you had the control when you were a kid?

Have the control now.

Check out The Tapping Solution. There is a link to a YouTube video where a lovely, young lady walks you through the technique in under 4 minutes. You should notice immediate results.

Here’s to YOUR creativity and power!