Self-Control | Ask Mss Didi*

August 7, 2011

This is an excerpt from My response to a post by the fabulous Jennifer Shelton at FemCentral. I’ve modified it to speak directly to you.

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Semantics. What one person calls “positive thinking” is called “mindfulness” by another person writing a book to sell. “Positive thinking” can also be included in chanting, meditation, and so many other modalities designed to gain control over FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real.

In My experience, Positive Thinking is actually CHOOSING empowering thoughts and actions over dis-empowering ones. The same amount of time and energy spent on worrying about something that -could- happen can be spent on focusing on what you -want- to create and “Love Me Time” which allows you to get out of the way of achieving your goals. The stress that people choose to “think” with determines manifestation.

The bottom line is RESPONSIBILITY and ACTION. There is no one thing that is going to be a cure-all for every person. We are responsible for trying and adapting new things all the time and evolving along THE PROCESS OF OUR DEVELOPMENT. This requires commitment.

And cultural perspective is thrown in there, too. It’s not only what society tells you to want, it’s HOW you choose to want it. For example, “positive thinking” will only work as far as the whiny-person-who-believes-she-is-entitled-to-everything-without-making-an-effort is willing NOT to whine. In cultures that expect instant gratification and permanent healing from a pill, the idea that TOOLS such as “positive thinking,” meditation, affirmation (and everything else that is designed to RE-CONDITION your thought processes) actually require continuous exercise immediately makes people insist that the TOOLS do not work. In reality, people are not “working the tools.”

Such laziness and lack of gratitude for all that IS available to Us to figure out how to work for Our individual needs is why We have a society of fat, lazy, slovenly individuals suing McDonald’s for the fact that they CHOOSE to eat the toxic food rather than do the work to eat healthily.

All of this relates to self-worth; do you believe you are WORTHY of what you desire?

You are not entitled to anything; you have to do the work to DESERVE everything. You have to Work Your Magick (which IS everything that you choose to design in your life).

The Comfort Zone of “focusing on being the victim” is the perfect way for all these people to get rich writing books, etc., for and against everything that has worked throughout “herstory” to validate people staying in their comfort zones and whining about it.

It’s not that something that has been proven to work for a multitude of others “doesn’t work;” YOU aren’t working it.

Discipline is a good thing and self-discipline is the greatest of your powers.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

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If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

March 4, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

i dread the holidays as Master’s sisters come to dinner and completely disrupt His household. Master has expressed His desire to address their behavior and has commanded this task to me. Since i would never dare to tell Master’s family what to do, i humbly ask for any advice You can give! With much gratitude, pf

Dear pf,

Here is a blog post I wrote recently that should be exactly what you’re looking for! I suggest that you offer this to your Master and that the two of you can figure out a way to “adapt” it to suit your needs. Best of luck!

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Throughout this season of … cheer, I permitted a few people into My humble home and was appalled by their complete lack of manners. I NEVER say, “make yourself at home” for a reason: the right to consider My home your home requires bill payments and TREMENDOUS amounts of feats of worthiness.

Since it appears that parents have completely failed to provide any social-grace education to their offspring over the past 40 or so years, here’s a quick list of How Not To Offend Your Hostess/Host. By all means, pass this information on to YOUR friends and relatives, especially the younger generations.

1. Sit down and stay seated. DO NOT GIVE YOURSELF A TOUR OF THE HOSTESS’ DOMAIN. A person’s home is NOT a museum. If you wish to see the domicile, ASK for a tour and respect the answer given to you.

Also, DO NOT choose to pick up items to inspect them. This is offensive to the Hostess’ personal space. If you are too bored with your own company to be left alone for the few moments it takes for the Hostess to go to the bathroom to urinate, bring a magazine when you visit so that you can amuse yourself.

2. Bathroom Hygiene. The fact that I have cause to write this disgusts Me, but mothers need slaps right across their faces – and not in a happy-fun way – for not training their children in cleanliness from early childhood. There is NO reason for anyone to leave urine on the toilet seat or the floor!

Step 1: Lift the toiled seat BEFORE using the toilet.

Step 2: Use toilet tissue to wipe the rim and inspect the floor to ensure that it is waste-free.

Step 3: WASH YOUR HANDS when done.

And WASH YOUR HANDS when you come in from the street. If you do not physically go to the bathroom to do so, carry hand sanitizer in case the Hostess does not offer it to you. AND if the Hostess offers, use it.

3. CALL before going to a person’s home. Don’t think it’s OK to drop by. I recently left someone in the hallway who foolishly thought I would open the door to My apartment because she was in the neighborhood. I told her that the same way she thinks to call Me to complain about her stupid husband, she should think to call to ask if she can come to My home. In this era of instant communication, there is no reason not to offer the courtesy of a text or phone call.

4. NO MEANS NO. When I say that I do not want you to clear the table, wash My dishes, or help Me, I mean it. A recent offender received 5 stitches for disrespecting My wishes in My home by deciding to help himself to a glass from My kitchen cabinet and broke a glass bowl with is forehead as it fell onto him. I honestly expressed My anger that he dared to even enter My kitchen, that his head broke My beautiful bowl (and he owes Me a new one), and that he bled on My kitchen floor. When I say My home is booby-trapped, I mean it.

5. Use a napkin, plate, utensils, chew quietly with your mouth closed, and don’t speak with your mouth full of food. Seriously, does no one tell these people that their table manners are atrocious? Really? Pigs eat at troughs for a reason. I do not wish to:

hear you smack your lips or slurp your liquids
see the food being chewed in your mouth
have you drop crumbs all over My apartment
have you wipe your hands on My furnishings or your clothing
scrape your utensils against your teeth
sing, hum, dance at the table

It always amazes Me that all these people who want to be in “control” don’t even have basic control of their own awareness and physicality to eat like civilized human beings… Yet, they will be the first to express disdain about someone else’s civility.

The BEST gift one can give is the gift of respect and good manners. By all means, take a refresher course and pass this info along – especially to the generations coming behind you. For more resources on manners, visit the Emily Post Institute where you can also find information on the appropriate amounts to tip for services.

What Prompted This Post

I would like to say that I had a marvelous Christmas, but the rudeness of all of the incredibly, self-absorbed people who chose their excitement over common courtesy, intelligence, and respect for anyone else seriously disrupted My Peace on Earth. I had an incredibly stressful Christmas Eve dealing with yet another relative being rushed to the hospital in serious condition (relatives in hospitals now up to 6) and I did NOT appreciate someone texting Me at 12:01 AM on December 25th because it was now Christmas. I also really did NOT appreciate the persons who chose to text Me at 8:30am, 9:00am, 9:02am and 9:15am to wish Me a Merry Christmas – and especially on a Saturday morning. I have STRICT contact times – which are between 12:00 NOON and 9pm ONLY – for very good reasons – one of them being that I am the emergency contact for all these hospitalized relatives, so I cannot turn off My phone. The fact that it is Christmas – a holiday that I respect but have no affiliation with – does NOT change anything. Besides what I wrote above, the decision of people to have their fun at My expense is why I chose to give this gift to assist Us all in remembering to mind Our manners.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom