Tag Archives: Self-Control

Chill Out Training Technique: The Tapping Solution

UPDATE: October 4, 2020

I offer this technique that has scientific backup, as well as My personal experience to attest to how well it can work if you work it.

October 27, 2013

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

You trained My submissive in a variety of techniques that he constantly used and began sharing with Me before his untimely death. There was one that he used all of the time whenever he felt nervous or distressed that worked wonders, and I did not get the opportunity to learn. I noticed that he would pat himself in specific areas of his body. Would You please tell Me what this technique is and how I can learn more about it?

Your Friend, Domina D

*****

Dear Domina D,

I will use My response as an Ask Mss Didi* post to share with many others.

First:

I state on My websites, profiles, everywhere, that I have NO interest in controlling anyone and that Self-Control is the ONLY control there is. I don’t see the purpose of having anyone around Me who lacks self-control… hence, the dismissal of the unworthy.

EVERYTHING is a choice; We usually choose the lesser suffering… or so We think.

So, when I offer a technique that has scientific proof, as well as personal experience and testimonials from people I respect, to assist in training, I sit back and permit Myself to be amused.

Let’s be clear that “training” begins and ends with YOU because, as with everything else, whatever occurs, it is your choice how you choose to deal with things. We are domesticated (trained) by social, religious, family, etc., “dick-tations” that We spend a lifetime trying to figure out how to evolve from. The bottom line is: You are either in control of Your own destiny or You are controlled by how you give your power away.

See Manipulation Tactics: Who’s Topping You?

Since it seems that so many people have lost their minds (what little they had to begin with), and the rest of Us are annoyed with having to keep Our cool, I am going to offer a simple technique that I share with My friends and give to My submissive trainees. I support My friends in their development – as long as they choose to improve – I don’t tolerate whining and insistence on inferiority.

I let the submissive prove their worth; those who practice the technique excel – not only in their training with and for Me, but in all areas of their lives. The “substandards” (and people who insist on maintaining mediocrity and drama) ignore the technique in whatever ways-for whatever, lame reasons and commit to remaining failures. they are dismissed.

Please NOTE that I swear by this technique for Myself and it totally works for Me and everyone who chooses to work it. Tapping is a physiological-neurolinguistic technique that you can learn in less than 4 minutes (see video). There is an accompanying book and a movie, both of which I found value in, but you don’t need them to get started and achieve immediate results.

This technique interrupts psycho-kinetic patterns (conscious/subconscious-physical) that create chemical responses in Our bodies which We interpret as stress, fear, panic, confusion, depression, etc. The technique then permits you to re-pattern your response by identifying and acknowledging your process that triggers the negative responses. With practice and choice, you can trigger positive chemistry, emotions, and responses.

Of course, there are always people claiming that something doesn’t work – when what they mean is that they FAILED to work it! When you take a look at these critics, they are far too often pushers of Big Pharma poisons and/or out to sell some product of their own. I advise you to consider what is most important to you: choosing natural techniques that give you the power, or choosing the fast-track-pill-approach – which inevitably leads to toxicity, more pills, new maladies, and starting from the beginning with your “issues” all over again… and again… because you avoided dealing with them in the first place. Choose wisely.

Albert Einstein is credited with saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and again and expecting a different result.

Best of all:

you can learn Tapping in under 4 minutes
you can enjoy free, Tapping scripts and meditations
anyone, any age can do it!

Imagine if better parents taught their children to be in charge of their emotions instead of being allowed to act out… Imagine how much better your life would have been if you had the control when you were a kid?

Have the control now.

Check out The Tapping Solution. There is a link to a YouTube video where a lovely, young lady walks you through the technique in under 4 minutes. You should notice immediate results.

Here’s to YOUR creativity and power!

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Surprised That I’m A Giving Goddess?

July 23, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

It was really a pleasure to meet You last night. After hearing rumors about You and [name omitted], I was very surprised that you are so kind and friendly. You treated me as if I mattered and I now understand that [name omitted] is jealous for more than the obvious reasons…. Sincerely, j

*****

I’m always astounded by the ridiculous misconception that to be a Dominant Sadist means to be ill-mannered, ill-tempered, selfish, greedy, and everything that the “hoochies-with-whips” abominate The Scene by being.

As I state on My Websites, I am a Giving Goddess. I do not wish to ever raise My voice, I prefer to make requests rather than demands, and I prefer to reward rather than to punish.

So, whenever I offer a Gift to The Community, I am saddened by the comments of appreciation including statements such as, “It’s nice to know that there are still kind people out there.”

It’s also disparaging that those who are offenders of The Scene have the ludicrous audacity to be offended when their offenses are not tolerated in My Domain. they band together with others of their kind to call Me “elitist” and a bitch. their lack of vocabulary comprehension is only slightly less than their lack of integrity.

First of all, I’m a BITCH = Being In Total Control of Herself (My Domain) and the only reason they’re whining is because they’re used to the “silly bitch syndrome” that their mothers effected by permitting them to believe that they are special without offering value to The Whole.

Second, if desiring to be around people with class, integrity, self-respect, and consideration makes Me elitist, I’m proud to be an elitist *snob* on top of that. I’m not a hypocrite; if I don’t respect a person, I don’t have anything to do with her/him.

I recognize My value by how I present Myself and My Gifts to The Whole. I walk My talk. I am secure enough in Myself to know that I do not lose anything when I share My beauty, talents, etc. Karma is a magnificent thing; what you offer returns to you multiplied.

Intelligent people know that kindness does not equal weakness. In fact, kindness gives you a powerful tool of revelation: people show you how they want to be treated. Being a sadist, I will take the opportunity to torture them with enlightenment, which, in itself, is a win-win for Me because I offer a Karmic good.

I return to My Mission of creating a Domain of honor, intelligence, creativity, beauty, and the opportunities for personal evolution through The Fetish Lifestyle. I realize that more than ever, My Mission is in place to serve the need of The Greater Good.

And I’m excited and energized by this!

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

How To Deal With Relationship Gossip

June 30, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I recently broke up with someone in The Scene. The problem is that where I live, the community is very small and everyone knows each other. Last weekend, there was a party and when I arrived, people had been talking about us and tried to get me to say what was wrong with him. What bothers me most is that the people who approached me were not even people who were ever friendly to me in the past. I felt very uncomfortable and left the party very early because I didn’t want to discuss our personal business with nosy people. Since this is where I normally socialize, how do I handle them trying to be in my business? And how do I keep my ex from talking about me to them? Thank You, Miss Private

Dear Miss Private,

It is difficult to take the high road with low-lives. However, that is My advice. The most important thing you have is your reputation. You and your ex know the truth, so no matter what anyone else chooses to think or say, your best defense is a strong offense.

Defuse the situation as soon as it presents itself. The moment someone begins prying into your personal business, and especially if they try to get you to speak ill of your ex:

1) Put your hand up with a gentle “stop” motion. This speaks to the unconscious mind and helps to reinforce what you say to them on a conscious level. Keep your hand near your own body – do not extend it into or near their space because this action will be perceived as invasive (even thought they are invading your space). Then withdraw your hand into your own body and bring it to rest, which reinforces that you are taking responsibility both to your own and to observers’ subconscious minds;

2) Be very kind, gentle, and direct as you take personal responsibility by saying something like, “It would not be polite or fair to [your ex] or to me to break the trust of our privacy.”

a) Taking personal responsibility does not overtly make the nosy people wrong and prevents egotistical defenses (unless you are dealing with a complete moron);

b) Maintaining a non-confrontational attitude alleviates you from being perceived as defensive; and

c) If they push the issue further, they will expose themselves to be nosy gossips, which they most likely do not want to do.

3) Immediately turn the topic of conversation on to the questioner – complimenting them in some way works best. People like nothing better than to talk about themselves. Complimenting attire or asking about something you know they are proud of or feel good about quickly takes the attention off of you and your business.

There will always be circumstances where you may have to do more work to get rid of a space invader. Some other tips I recommend are:

“Excuse me, costume malfunction!” and walk away.
Asking them why they want to know and then stating that you wouldn’t want them to be accused of gossiping so you will take responsibility to change the subject.
If you’re anything like Me, just say, “It’s none of your business.” I usually do it ever so sweetly, with a lovely smile on My face, and jokingly as if their intention was to be humorous instead of nosy.

The goal is to maintain your dignity while refusing to divulge your personal and private information.

Should you encounter a situation where an offender will actually claim that your ex is saying crappy things about you, take the high road again with compassion. “I am sorry to hear that he is so devastated that he has to tell such stories! How pitiful.” And walk away. Walk away from that kind of offender because they are intent on disrupting your peace and looking for some kind of confrontation. I have actually had a situation where such an offender decided to follow Me around to badger information from Me, so I chose a very, highly-visible area where people observed Me say, “Now I know why people say you’re a nosy gossip.” And I walked away again. It was unfortunate, but necessary, that I had to embarrass this dreadful creature.

You cannot stop your ex or other people from saying things. The best approach is to make it a point to be observed being amused by the situation with a no-care attitude. And don’t be a drama-queen when you do it. Gossips and low-lives can only thrive if they disrupt your peace. If you present yourself as if you don’t care, you disrupt their feeding frenzy and they will soon latch onto someone else. If you really let go and don’t care about negative behavior, you free yourself to receive better things.

You may also want to read My blog post on what I call “gruesomes” as you seem to be surrounded by them and they’re everywhere… Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.