Category Archives: Self-Love & Care

Pity The Self-Loathing

August 31, 2011

Dear Mistress Didi*,

I am disgusted with how badly people [behave in The Scene]! I am fed up with the rudeness, the jealousy, the sabotage, and overall evil that seem to be where everyone is coming from – well, not everyone. This is why I’m contacting You: You are always gracious and polite every time I’ve seen You – even when people have attempted to offend and disrespect You. Will You please tell me how I can stay in The Scene, which I love, and deal with all [of] the negative people?

~ Ms. Dissed

Dear Ms. Dissed,

Lately, I, too, have been a little blue due the bad behaviors exhibited by many, many people who choose to behave abominably. While I struggle every day to find the beauty in people of this culture that embraces ugliness as a “starting point,” I find Myself a bit fatigued. Well, that’s what I get for (1) having expectations in the first place that most people work towards being the Highest they can be and (2) fantasizing that they desire to be better than common and trite instead of paying attention to the truth these people show Me.

Along with that annoyance are the people who attempt to “top” Me via what I refer to as “reindeer games” – you know, the “make-wrong” tactics (as demonstrated poorly on a daily basis by the teabaggers). They try to “trap” you with a comment about something you say and/or do that is intended to put you on the defensive while feigning to place themselves on a higher level of consciousness than where they clearly see you are.

The reasons these “reindeer games” do not work on Me are:

I “walk My talk.” EVERYTHING you read that I have presented to and for you is My absolute Truth.
I am not concerned with whether or not people like Me. I honestly feel that those who are worthy of My time, consideration, and attention are those who will “get” Me and My message and choose to enjoy My Domain. Anyone with a nefarious intention cannot exist in My Domain because it IS about Truth. I am brave enough to face My Truth and, therefore, am not rattled by anyone else’s inability to accept what IS about Me and My Life.
I love and accept Myself, permit Myself opportunities to grow, and work to operate on Higher Levels of consciousness on a daily basis. Yes, this is quite a challenge, and it really does help to be a Sadist…
I have no attachment to people agreeing with Me. Everyone experiences life differently and I respect that. I also have no attachment to agreeing with others. Agreement is not as important as respect is – without respect, there is nothing.

What is so tedious about these reindeer gamers is that I have taken the time to put everything you need to know about Me on the internet, available for free, and they don’t bother to read it – they just look for something to attempt to top Me… and at My photos, of course.

Evidence of a Higher Level of Consciousness is compassion. I pity “haters” and venerate “appreciaters.” I understand that The Mirror is the true test of how you care for yourself. When you look in The Mirror, do you love yourself? like yourself? Loving and liking yourself should be one’s first priorities in order to be comfortable with who you are and to fully enjoy the gift of Life.

Though I see these reindeer gamers clearly, and it would be all too easy to drop down to their level to make sure that they understand that I am not the one they can feed their negativity with, I choose to educate them with the opportunity to grow towards the self-love that will make their lives happy and whole.

Education is the reason I give How To Present yourself To A Mistress for FREE and continuing in the giving spirit, purchases of the full version support My Charities.

I truly believe that if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. I am a major part of the solution to what is important to Me in The Scene and in My Domain.

I am so glad to love what I see in The Mirror. I sincerely wish that joy to everyone and I support everyone in doing the work to have this joy.

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words Of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Forgiveness

December 1, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

Last night, I overheard You discussing forgiveness. I only caught a bit of what You said, but it really helped me with a difficult situation that I am struggling with. Can You please offer me some more advice? Thank You, Ma’am.

~ Grateful

Dear Grateful,

Do understand that I write this from the perspective of a Sadist. Where I choose the term, “punish” and similar words, I suggest you choose an action that resonates with your Truth. I’m a Libra (The Scales), so perhaps that also explains what I’m about to say.

I have a 3-strikes-you’re-out-rule for Myself because the first time, shame on you; the second time, I was gracious and you set yourself up for the Divine Torture I’m going to extremely enjoy when/if you offend Me the third time!

My commitment is to the Win-Win. I do My very best to keep My Karma in balance. So, I do everything from the place of understanding that everyone and everything in Our Universe is here to teach Our souls lessons. When people disappoint Us – and they always will – it is part of Our mutual lessons. It is not so much the situation as it is what We do with the situation that allows Us to grow towards Joy – if We choose to.

Now, here’s the tricky part: We are conditioned by religion, social mores (plural, noun, Sociology:folkways of central importance accepted without question and embodying the fundamental moral views of a group) & pressures, family “stuff,” etc., to believe that:

evolving means to deny anger and all of the feelings that are natural to being disappointed, disturbed ~ “dissed” – which is ludicrous and against Nature.

We should somehow be all-knowing so that when people disappoint Us, “I should have” known better, seen it coming, [insert self-defeating statement here].

it is either all Our fault OR the other person’s fault and We misunderstand personal responsibility. It’s not until We’re adults that the concept of the dynamic of the interaction between ALL parties gives Us the opportunity to take a good look at Our egos (which shows Us how We are in/out of balance with Self-Love) presented to Us – if We’re lucky.

Having said that, I CHOOSE to permit everyone the opportunity to show Me who they are and HOW they are – which can often be quite different in behavior due to how folks handle stress and FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real. And because I embrace the fact that I Am A Sadist, and My Motto is Don’t start none, won’t be none, when they choose to operate outside of the Realm of Love and Respect, I enjoy creating balance for Myself.

I had the great fortune of meeting the Dalai Lama who told Me (I’m paraphrasing) that Karma is whether You can sleep at night. I forgive offenders because, as Jesus said, “they know not what they do.” And if they do know, they chose to receive the consequences for their actions – consciously or subconsciously – it’s all in Divine Order for evolution. I torture them because I do know what I’m doing to take care of My needs and I own My responsibility for doing so. I always choose to torture with the opportunity for evolution, because I’m also taking care of My Karma.

Some people think this is enacting vengeance. I believe that the same way the offender gave Me the opportunity to grow through pain, I am the Agent of Karma in return by giving them the opportunity to evolve however they choose to interpret the consequences of their actions.

Forgiveness first begins with Yourself because We have to undo all of that “conditioning” that is designed to make Us wrong. Once I do that, I find that I can choose to torture from a place of giving love, rather than from a place of retaliation. I prefer to reward rather than to punish. Sometimes, a gift can have an amazing sting, but one always grows through pain. Whether they choose to grow towards Joy is their choice.

Hedonist that I Am (I created My own religion, Spiritual Hedonism™), I choose Joy!

Resources For Forgiveness

Update 2016

The Forgiveness Project works at a local, national, and international level to help build a future free of conflict and violence by healing the wounds of the past. By collecting and sharing people’s stories, and delivering outreach programs, The Forgiveness Project encourages and empowers people to explore the nature of forgiveness and alternatives to revenge.

6 Timeless Thoughts on Forgiveness from The Positivity Blog. I recommend subscribing to this blog ~ very good stuff!

Handling Forgiving and Forgetting from LiveStrong.com

The Gift of Forgiveness with a wonderful video

Learning To Forgive – a good how-to guide

Added 2/29/16 – What Is Radical Forgiveness by Collin Tipping

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Fabulous & Guilty By Association

December 22, 2011

Dear Mistress Didi*,

A while back, You addressed an issue with a “dominant” whom You helped get into The Scene and who abused Your kindness. I recently had a very similar experience where the person I helped has been riding on my reputation, has sabotaged my project, cheated me out of money, and is now telling lies about everything that has ever happened! I remember reading Your post and being able to “trust in Karma”, as You suggested. Would You please repost it so that I can share it with others who are being affected by this guy?

Much gratitude, Miss V

Dear Miss V.,

It is My pleasure to repost as the same idiot who prompted the original posting has over-stepped the boundaries and is now in the process of receiving the Karma he created! Best of luck to you!

~~~~~~

November 21, 2008

There seems to be some kind of epidemic of incredible stupidity going on these days. Too many times during the past few months – and more so during the past few weeks, I have received COMPLAINTS about people who have been seen with Me.

Let’s get something straight right away. Just because a person is seen with Me does not mean that the person has anything to do with Me whatsoever. Do not base your assumptions about these people based on what you think you know about Me.

I am The PartyDomme and I invite people to join Me at My events and at events given by others all the time. That’s a wonderful way to meet new people and get a chance to know them. Unlike far too many people, I know that I have nothing to lose by sharing MyPartySelf with others.

However, there have been a few times where My generosity has given stupid people opportunities to be the failures they hold onto being, which has put small dampers on things I’ve carefully planned. I have even taken My generosity to a fault and given My repeated forgiveness and opportunities for them to “make good” and, sadly, they have made commitments to remain screw-ups. For some idiotic reason, the people in their lives allow them to get away with this awful behavior and they have made the terrible mistake of thinking they can receive the same disservice to humanity from Me.

Most folks would stop any and all association with people who continually screw-up their situations. But as My Amazing Grandmother taught Me, I believe you should “consider the source”. If you know someone is incapable of doing things they want to believe they can do, then don’t require them to do such things. If there are other qualities about the person that you enjoy, you have the option of keeping them around for those enjoyments. No one is capable of being everything to you. Hedonist that I am, I enjoy what is available to be enjoyed.

The problem with this way of thinking, I have found and am receiving too many emails about, is that some people are so far gone in their delusions of who they believe they are that they choose to pretend to be completely unaware of/refuse to acknowledge that their bad behavior is causing them problems. (Note: I have made them aware of the complaints and they have continued their offenses.)

Their problems will not be Mine. There is honor in The True Scene and Good People look out for each Other, hence all of the emails I’ve received. These discourteous people are basking in the glorious glow of My vibe, My works, My friends, My social circling, and have presented themselves as the people they want to believe they are by using MY REPUTATION to open doors in attempts to create opportunities with others that I have established relationships with! Some people have gone as far as to attend and copy the workshop presentations that I have given and market themselves using My techniques and definitions – verbatim! That’s plagiarism, folks! Some cultures believe that imitation is the highest form of flattery. I consider it thievery.

Clarifying further: To use My name to boost your opinion of yourself in your presentation to people you want something from is attempting to “steal” from My reputation that I built on My own merits. The fact that these offenders have nothing of merit of their own to present to others and that they need to use Me for validation is creepy. To present My techniques, step-by-step the way that I have demonstrated them, and to even copy the descriptions from My webpages is attempting to “steal” My proprietary information. At least add something of your own ~ do anything other than just replace My name in My descriptions! These actions can be considered a form of identity theft.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt and a chance to do better the next time until they prove to Me that they are unworthy. I am always supportive of people who choose to behave from the Highest Within and I leave those who don’t in their zones of depraved banality.

For some reason, these offenders think that I am just going to let them get away with their transgressions against Me. Again, I addressed their actions and they chose to insist that they meant no offense, yet they have continued to repeat the same bad behaviors — as if their lame apologies will have any meaning to Me again — if they even bothered to apologize (then, there is that bad behavior, too, which gets you tossed to the curb).

I don’t accept the fallacy that they are “unaware of their behaviors” — especially when I have carefully detailed the problems to them in writing to make sure they have a reference for their future adventures. I pay attention to the fact that they are selfish, inconsiderate, poorly attempting to manipulate, and disrespectful all around. I shake My head and pity them; this is a serious sign of inferiority and a lack of self-love.

By now, We’d think that people know not to mistake kindness for weakness – especially My kindness. Fortunately for them, I don’t waste My time with trifling losers. One of the best things about karma is understanding that not only does what you do come back to you, but what they do comes back to them, too. People with these types of usurping/invasive psyches will dig their own graves while I sit back with a glass of champagne and watch them fall into their pits.

It is just a matter of time.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom