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Pity The Self-Loathing

August 31, 2011

Dear Mistress Didi*,

I am disgusted with how badly people [behave in The Scene]! I am fed up with the rudeness, the jealousy, the sabotage, and overall evil that seem to be where everyone is coming from – well, not everyone. This is why I’m contacting You: You are always gracious and polite every time I’ve seen You – even when people have attempted to offend and disrespect You. Will You please tell me how I can stay in The Scene, which I love, and deal with all [of] the negative people?

~ Ms. Dissed

Dear Ms. Dissed,

Lately, I, too, have been a little blue due the bad behaviors exhibited by many, many people who choose to behave abominably. While I struggle every day to find the beauty in people of this culture that embraces ugliness as a “starting point,” I find Myself a bit fatigued. Well, that’s what I get for (1) having expectations in the first place that most people work towards being the Highest they can be and (2) fantasizing that they desire to be better than common and trite instead of paying attention to the truth these people show Me.

Along with that annoyance are the people who attempt to “top” Me via what I refer to as “reindeer games” – you know, the “make-wrong” tactics (as demonstrated poorly on a daily basis by the teabaggers). They try to “trap” you with a comment about something you say and/or do that is intended to put you on the defensive while feigning to place themselves on a higher level of consciousness than where they clearly see you are.

The reasons these “reindeer games” do not work on Me are:

I “walk My talk.” EVERYTHING you read that I have presented to and for you is My absolute Truth.
I am not concerned with whether or not people like Me. I honestly feel that those who are worthy of My time, consideration, and attention are those who will “get” Me and My message and choose to enjoy My Domain. Anyone with a nefarious intention cannot exist in My Domain because it IS about Truth. I am brave enough to face My Truth and, therefore, am not rattled by anyone else’s inability to accept what IS about Me and My Life.
I love and accept Myself, permit Myself opportunities to grow, and work to operate on Higher Levels of consciousness on a daily basis. Yes, this is quite a challenge, and it really does help to be a Sadist…
I have no attachment to people agreeing with Me. Everyone experiences life differently and I respect that. I also have no attachment to agreeing with others. Agreement is not as important as respect is – without respect, there is nothing.

What is so tedious about these reindeer gamers is that I have taken the time to put everything you need to know about Me on the internet, available for free, and they don’t bother to read it – they just look for something to attempt to top Me… and at My photos, of course.

Evidence of a Higher Level of Consciousness is compassion. I pity “haters” and venerate “appreciaters.” I understand that The Mirror is the true test of how you care for yourself. When you look in The Mirror, do you love yourself? like yourself? Loving and liking yourself should be one’s first priorities in order to be comfortable with who you are and to fully enjoy the gift of Life.

Though I see these reindeer gamers clearly, and it would be all too easy to drop down to their level to make sure that they understand that I am not the one they can feed their negativity with, I choose to educate them with the opportunity to grow towards the self-love that will make their lives happy and whole.

Education is the reason I give How To Present yourself To A Mistress for FREE and continuing in the giving spirit, purchases of the full version support My Charities.

I truly believe that if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. I am a major part of the solution to what is important to Me in The Scene and in My Domain.

I am so glad to love what I see in The Mirror. I sincerely wish that joy to everyone and I support everyone in doing the work to have this joy.

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words Of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Outing or Protecting?

August 22, 2010 (updated November 13, 2011)

Dear Mistress Didi*,

Why is some guy on [social site] contacting me by direct message, claiming that You threw him out of Your party, and to stay away from Your events and You?

~ perturbed

Dear perturbed,

As anyone who is familiar with Me should know by now, I have NO tolerance for bad behavior. This is why I recently ejected a troll from a party and posted You Won’t Like My Events If…

And I have been VERY generous in how I’ve handled his sad, little creature. I didn’t have to “out” him; he did it himself with ludicrous attempts to destroy My Domain while unwittingly serving Me better than if I’d commanded him to serve!

If you didn’t know, this creep contacted everyone in his “friends” list on a networking site to warn them that I “threw [him] out for singing and talking to a beautiful woman.” he continues to stalk Me (See How To Stop A Stalker) by contacting EVERYONE who responds to Me on forum posts with his nonsense (if only he’d put half that effort into becoming a better person). Since birds of a feather flock together, folks who would believe a story like his are too stupid to attend any of My events in the first place. So, while I believe that creatures like him are the reason that birth control should be free and sterilization mandatory, I couldn’t pay for better service to My Purpose (not that I would have to)!

The only sad things from this situation are that the 5 people who complained about him at the party had to endure him in the first place and that the “beautiful woman” was a newbie and has told Me that she is now too “creeped out” to attend any fetish events for a while. This is a perfect example of how a distasteful individual is free to offend Us and discourage others from exploring the Beauties of The Fetish Lifestyle because no one has alerted the Community to his repugnance – and how he even made it into My event at all. I accept full responsibility for not following My instincts – which I WILL do from now on – to deny him admission when he arrived in full, creepy fashion. If being disrespectful and “turditudinous” (My new vocabulary word: Definition: (turd-it-TOOD-in-us: Exhibiting personality characteristics of excrement normally expunged from the anus) are his fetish, there are plenty of other events for him and his kind to indulge in.

I will not allow admission to My Events to anyone who does not show the proper respect from the moment they encounter My Domain. Period. I love and respect My Guests and will do everything to ensure Our good times!

Lately, I feel I am unique in that money is not My god; nor do I produce events for the sole purpose of making money. I design events for the enjoyment of communing with like minds and like energies. When someone offends Me and Mine, I believe it is My duty to alert The Community to prevent others from being disrespected and, perhaps, harmed by the offender. If more people were responsible to Our Community and to the people who trust Us, and if more people were brave enough to stand up for what’s right against wrong-doers, participating in Our Community would actually be more pleasant instead of a constant flow of dealing with situations where one hopes to avoid having to navigate around “gruesomes.”

I respect The Fetish Lifestyle and I believe in having integrity in The Scene. Sadly, far too many do not agree with having honorable intentions and participate in lying, thieving, maligning, and attempts to outright sabotage not only Me and Mine, but many others who make contributions to the ability for Us to enjoy Our Lifestyles. Eventually, the barbarians begin to fight amongst themselves in their quests to build monopolies as they run out of people to screw over. You see this happen all the time.

One of the many reasons that “certain” people dislike Me (aside from the obvious jealousies and, that under no circumstances, do I permit them to have free reign of My Domain) is that I WILL TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT their HEINOUS OFFENSES – and anyone who has ever encountered them will easily recognize Truth. I also ensure that I have proof to back up My statements. My motto is Don’t start none, won’t be none; I finish it.

Over the years, I have received “flack” from people who think that I should keep incidents of bad behavior between Me and the offenders to Myself – probably, because telling others threatens their safety zones for exposure of their own bad behaviors. Fortunately, I am clear that I will continue to maintain circumstances for the utmost safety in My Domain and protect My guests as a good Hostess should.

Unfortunately, covert and disreputable habits are what is to be expected as the norm these days (and this is one reason why people are rioting on Wall Street). To permit atrocities to go unpunished by remaining silent only contributes to more atrocious behavior in the future. I maintain that, If you’re not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. Experience has taught Me that exposure (and punishment) of offenders is the best way to maintain the integrity of one’s Domain and protect the people you care about.

So, take My commitment to excellence as an invitation to enjoy the safety of My Events and My Domain with intelligent people who have respect, class, and integrity. And take this as a warning, if you are a troll in any way. My responsibility is to enjoying The Best We Can Be and I will be responsible to Our Community even if others are not.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Photography At Fetish Events

December 23, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi

I am a fetish photographer and want to attend your next event to capture real life moments. Are you one of these annoying promoters who don’t allow photography at your events? ~ [name omitted]

Dear “flash,”

I would like a Rolls Royce complete with chauffeur. It seems that neither of Us is going to receive what We’d like today, though I assure you that I would be much more polite in My request than you have been with yours. Because you serve Me to answer your question for My purposes, I choose to respond to you:

The problems with photography at Fetish events in real-life are:

people are concerned with their privacy;
most photographers always think they are far more talented than they actually are;
most photographers think they OWN not only the photographs but all rights to the people in them; and
the lack of integrity and social skills of the vast majority of the population.

I do not permit any types of photography, etc. at My events EXCEPT for those provided by MY photographer. It took a long time for Me to carefully develop a fantastic relationship of TRUST with My photographers and event guests. I cherish these relationships and will do everything in My power to honor them.

NO photos are taken of anyone without their permission.
I maintain ALL copies of photos taken at each of My events and ONLY post photos to a private album which is available ONLY to guests of that event who (1) are in the photos and (2) who have given WRITTEN permission for the photos to be posted in the album. In other words, NO photos are taken or posted in the private album without written consent. Period.

The reason I maintain ALL photos is to ensure privacy control. (On numerous occasions, I have had to fight the illegal use of My photos. If any photos taken at any of My events are misused, I will be able to and most definitely will provide concrete evidence and support for legal action against the offender.)

This practice takes quite a bit of My time, as I make sure to handle all photos personally, and I gladly give this consideration to My guests. I am unique in this practice and in My generosity. Perhaps, this is because I’m an Event Designer and not just a promoter.

My suggestion to you is to develop a relationship with some other “fetish” event promoters and politely express your desire to capture photos of real-life moments. Choose the promoter(s) carefully because if the promoter is a sleazebag, your reputation will be tainted for a LONG time WHEN he does something heinous – which is inevitable.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom