Tag Archives: social

Domme in Business

October 29, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

Should a woman who is in the Dominatrix business be domineering in her dealings with other business people or learn flexibility and understand that business associates are equal? ~ young entrepreneur

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Dear young entrepreneur,

First, not everyone is equal – that goes for all aspects of life, including business. A lot of folks want to be “politically correct” about this, but hey, deal with it. Learn to appreciate the talents that others offer. It is useless to expect a kindergartener to comprehend calculus, much less perform an equation expertly. So, I suggest that you practice seeing what’s best in a person and/or situation and respect it in order to enjoy a relationship that will yield mutually beneficial results.

Second, Self-Control is the only real control there is. Every business person needs to know how to discipline Herself to achieve the greatest good, a.k.a., what’s best for business without compromising one’s integrity – which, unfortunately, is a rare practice these days. Bullying is not Dominance. Knowing how to present your desires and create boundaries for the barbarians who do not practice common courtesy are necessary skills to hone.

Third, anyone, Dominant or otherwise, who chooses to be at the effect of Her environment rather than affecting Her environment, practices personal irresponsibility (it is always someone else’s fault that things are not as desired. Our societies force-feed personal irresponsibility upon Us via social, religious, and economic conditioning. However, We always have the choice to evolve past mediocrity.) There is a difference between being stern and being rude, and becoming adept in the Art of Communication is the most important skill a Dominant can have.

Those who have the fortitude to go against “the norm” learn that the only true power is power with, not power over others and are the most successful. Just look at Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, and other moguls who engage the best in people to achieve the ultimate success.

Finally, be who you are, not a twisted interpretation of what a Dominant is as determined by other people’s fantasies projected onto your reality.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, Mss Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. Mss Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, Mss Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, Mss Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Domme for Dollars

Domme for Dollars

October 29, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I am a new slave and new to the scene. What should I expect from a Mistress? Some bring up money. Is that what it’s about? ~ new and confused

*****

Dear new and confused,

I understand that you’re new. It is a personal peeve of Mine for “newbies” (or anyone) to determine themselves “slaves” or “Dommes” without the first clue as to what that IS or involves. If you were truly a “slave” in service to a REAL Mistress, you would be properly trained and not asking this question. Period.

In My public service article, Domme v. dumme, I specify the differences between REAL Dominants and “hoochies with whips,” who are usually silly-young-girls being manipulated by some guy who calls his pseudo-brothel a “dungeon.” There is as much a difference between a tribute and a fee as there is a difference between a true professional and an actor who plays one on TV.

A REAL Mistress has invested the time, education, and dedication to Fetish As Art with the intention and understanding that BDSM IS an integral part of Her Life, not solely a source of income. To serve a REAL Mistress requires dedication and a measure of worth on your part. Tribute is an offering of appreciation to the Domina for Her time, consideration, and attention regarding you. A REAL tribute may or may not be monetary and if you are in service to a REAL Dominant, you will not be required to pay a “requisite amount” each and every time you visit. Be sure to read submissive v. substandard to understand the dynamic involved with being in service to a Dominant.

More information on the Lifestyle and safety practices can be found HERE. I encourage you to do the research to give yourself the opportunity to experience the best that Fetish has to offer. Because the adage, “you get what you pay for” does not purely have monetary application; skill and authenticity are paramount for happiness in all areas of life. And that’s what it’s all about.
Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom

Gruesomes

June 13, 2010

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I broke off a 3 month attempt at a relationship with a man who is a favorite of the females in [The Scene] to bat their eyelashes at. If they knew what I know now, they would look the other way! What annoys me is that we barely stopped seeing each other when a few of these heifers actually contacted me to ask if “everything was OK!” These people barely speak to me at any other time! I want to slap each one of them in their faces many times! I don’t know how to get over being so insulted and angry at how they dare to be so nosy!!!!! Any advice? Thanks, Miss T.

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Well, Miss T.,

You’re in luck! I recently ended a relationship with someone in The Scene (sort of), too and the gossips tried to circle around Me like vultures! Here is part of a post to My blog on this very issue and you will also find value in How To Deal With Relationship Gossip:

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I tell people what I want them to know. Period. The only reason I’m bothering to comment on the scavenging is to eliminate the opportunity for the usual-jealous-ugly-creatures to besmirch the person who is no longer a part of My life – though, the bumpkins will gossip lies anyway because that is all they have. This behavior is typical of people with a low sense of self-worth with good reason.

My Mother is a lady, as are/were ALL of the Women in My Family on all sides for as many generations as I can count. I grew up with and continue to be surrounded by a lot of love. Perhaps, this (also known as “good breeding” and “good home training”) is why I have no sense of jealousy for any other person and the ability to genuinely be happy for and wish other people well. I do not revel in the pains of others, not even those I intensely dislike due to their offenses against Me. Such behavior subtracts from your own worth and attracts negativity to you. I am enough in Myself that I do not need to waste energy “dissing” others when I could put that energy into doing more things to honor and love Myself.

I am disgusted by people who do not love or value themselves. I call these creatures “gruesomes” because they are not only ugly on the inside, they are inevitably ugly on the outside. Instead of seeking to improve the conditions of their lives, they seek to belittle everyone and everything in order to feel comfortable in their gruesomeness. They create communities of others like them to wallow in the muck and mire of the pathetic excuses for lives they choose to create while seeking out those of Us who truly are fabulous to lie, cheat, and attempt to sling into the feculence of their miserable realities.

A True Lady does not discuss the details of Her love affairs or such matters that are usually put into that category. If She has cause to mention the departed lover, She refrains from any displays of negativity – especially in public and particularly around gruesomes.

I will NEVER speak ill of anyone I have had any sort of relationship (or attempts at relationships) with because I have too much self-respect to have the need to besmirch another person. This is evident in the way I have never spoken ill of the silly dummes who have attempted to gain attention for themselves by telling lies on Me – and they’re still telling those same, old, tired, lies that have been exposed! People with a sense of low-self-worth do not ever realize that a person’s truths are evident based on their merits, which is why like attracts like and the fabulous associate with the fabulous and the gruesomes hang with the gruesomes. Take a good look around you.

I am evolved enough as a human being to understand that every person is unique to your experience and that when people don’t click, you should move on. I accept responsibility for My actions, which include choosing to stay in/leave situations with the goal of My happiness. Because I not only value Myself, I honor My integrity and I choose to remember the positive qualities that I found attractive in people who are now in My Past. I encourage everyone to do the same to reject negative feelings that do not serve you. If you love yourself, you do not need to have contempt for anyone you attempted to love.

When all the gossip buzzes around you like flies to manure, take a good look at the perpetrators, and see just how gruesome they are. There’s value to the adage: Consider the source. Sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover.

Always MY Pleasure,
Mss Didi*
www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mss Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of Mss Didi*s Words of Wisdom